Tuesday, May 30, 2006

What A Memorable Day...

One of my new friends had a small gathering at her house yesterday afternoon for Memorial Day. There was "C"--her very handsome husband,and their 2 girls. Then there was "E" (no, not THAT "E"), her husband and their 3 girls. Me and Moonpie and our 3 wee ones (Calie was at a friends house). And a couple from down the road--no kids, yet.

There were 8 kids--all 5 and under. There was a fun swimming pool--perfect for the kids. But Carson couldn't play in the pool. He and I were sunburned from Friday's Garage Sale (I made $200). But he more than made up for the fact he couldn't swim. He pulled his pants down 3 times--peed in their garage. Stuck his finger in the cupcakes before dinner. Was an all around pill. But sooooo cute. I can't help but have a special place in my heart that busts out laughing everytime he pulls one of his "stunts". He is such a BOY sometimes. And such a GIRLY BOY other times. His favorite thing to say is "Ima Cow WARD" or "Ima fraid E cat". And sometimes he runs around the house chanting "Ima REAL boy. Ima REAL boy". Or he talks robotically and says "Destroy Buzz Lightyear. Destroy Buzz Lightyear..."

She served a fabulous brisket. ((I just reread my post--boy, I really skip around alot, don't I?)) Cheesy Potatoes. Pinto Beans. Rolls. A wonderful salad. And a chocolate dessert thingy. And cupcakes. I had a big ole Dr Pepper and vodka. And a some of the salad. We played baseball (sorta) in the backyard. Pushed the kids on the swings. Watched them swim and watched Caden toddle around. We left and 9PM. I had to bathe the kids when we got home, then I popped them a movie on and went to bed. Caden slept GOOD last night.

OH! And I called Poppy, he's at home now--being seen by Home Health Care a few times per week and he TELLS me he is taking his meds--but he has been known to tell me little white fibs so I don't worry. I told him "Happy Memorial Day" and he said "Well thanks, baby girl...But I'm not dead yet. Only 3/4 dead." I told him that I was thinking of ALL the men who had fought and lived AND died that day in all the wars. Because they all died a little--don't you think? He sounded in good spirits.

I also got an email from a girl that was in the hospital with me when I was suicidal and major depressed. She sounded so good. And she is expecting. I am so happy for her. I thought about her alot yesterday. I hope she is taking her meds too ("R", if you are reading...Take care of yourself, OK?).

I hope you all had a nice long weekend and got to spend time with family and friends--and I hope you had FUN--I did.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Poison Control...How May I Help You?...

Oh My Goodness. I have never been so scared in all my life. Well, I'm pretty sure I was scared alot when Claudia grabbed a whole can of pepper juice off the counter and poured it in her face and had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance--and I was scared when Calie had eye surgery when she was 5. Oh! And I nearly peed my pants when Carson had stiches and I had to do that all by myself (Moonpie was at work--but couldn't come down to the ER). But this takes the cake.

I was in the living room the other afternoon and I heard Moonpie say "Oh my God. WHO LEFT THE CABINET WITH THE CLEANING SUPPLIES OPEN!!!?" ummm...I think it was me. "Caden just got the cap off the furniture stuff and had the bottle turned upside down! THAT IS WHY YOU HAVE TO LOCK THIS CABINET!!"

I rushed into the kitchen and took the bottle away from Moonpie. 'May be harmful or fatal if swallowed' OMG. He's gonna die and it will be my fault. I asked Moonpie if he thought Caden had drank any. "Well. I'm sure he did, he had the bottle in his mouth and had it turned up as high as he could." He then tried to lecture me on the dangers of leaving the cabinet unlocked and just HOW did he get that lid off?!? I kept saying "harmful or FATAL if swallowed". Then I screamed at Moonpie that he was NOT helping by lecturing me. Then I cried. He told Calie to go with me and take Caden to the emergency clinic close by. He would stay with the other kids.

I got in the car and started down the road. Imagining they would put charcoal down his throat and then pump his tummy. And it was allllll my fault. Then I thought: "I'm gonna call his pediatrician." They advised me to call the poison control hot line. NOW. They gave me the number. I pulled over and called them.

The nicest man on Earth answered. I explained what happened. And he told me in a calm voice (while typing so fast on his keyboard) that it is only harmful or fatal if he throws up and aspirates it into his lungs. So, I took him back home. We kept him calm and not overfed. We watched him for 6 hours. They called me twice to check on him. I now have that number on my cell phone. I hope I never use that number again--but I know if I do they can help me.

So, go lock up all your cleaning stuff. Make sure the child proof caps are on TIGHT. And put that number on your fridge and in your cell phone address book--and I'll hope you never have to dial it.

PS: This was really scary and caused me to be overly anxious and I couldn't sleep that night--even after I took my gooood anti anxious stuff. And when I did sleep I dreamed the most awful dreams that should never be repeated out loud.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

A Little Off The Top, Please...

I cut Caden's hair. His first "real" haircut. Moonpie trimmed around his ears and the nape of his neck a few months ago. He said he was looking girly. He even trimmed the front and gave him bangs. But I CUT his hair. With trimmers. I used the biggest guard. But it still is short. I cut off all his brown hair. Now he is totally blonde. All of my kids were born with dark hair. Carson's and Calie's were darkest. Almost black. And both of those two had the most hair. They looked like Mexican babies. Heads FULL of beautiful dark hair. Then it grows out...the hair never really falls out...It just starts growing blonde. So, they have dark ends and blonde roots. I did the same as a baby. I used to think that the dark haired baby in all the photos must have died--and they stole me away from my beautiful loving family to take the place of their black haired baby.

Caden went from looking like a little baby to looking like a little boy. He looks adorable. I wanna eat him. I wanna nibble his cheeks off and rub my hands on his head. Amazing how a haircut can change the way they look so much. He looks SO much like Carson now. Almost like twins (but 3 years apart). I can't get over it.

I swept up all the hair from the floor and put it in a baggie. It was ALOT of hair. Now I can put it in his baby book so years from now, I can dip my fingers in there and touch his baby hair--and I can sniff it and get a hint of Johnsons&Johnsons...or I can do it tomorrow!!

He is getting so big. And smart! Last night he walked over to where my sandals were, sat down and then lifted his foot high in the air and tried to put my shoe on his foot! We laughed so hard. And earlier today, Calie and I caught him clapping his hands and then "roll it up, roll it up..", we started singing the song and he laughed his head off. Could someone call Father Time and tell him to stop the clock--or slow it down some? It is going too fast.

Monday, May 22, 2006

The Picture's Say It All...

Caden's Birthday...

What's On My Head?

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Now What's On My HANDS??!!

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My Eye! My Eye! Oh Gawd....MY EYE!!
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Saturday, May 20, 2006

If You Give A Man A Chainsaw...

He will cut stuff up.

My sister. Bless her heart. She came home yesterday around 3:15PM to find that the HUGE oak tree that shaded her boys "fort", no longer did so. Her mighty oak was missing more than a few limbs. And the evidence was strewn all over her driveway and yard. She found a note from the local electric or phone idiots (forget which group was responsible) saying "We'll be back on Monday to finish the job". She is, to put it mildly, PISSED. She tells me that limbs that were not interfering with any "lines" were cut off. That her gate (you have to open her gate to get on her property) wasn't latched and that one of her dogs was roaming the neighborhood. They threw a nasty cigarette package on the ground, too. She is not happy. She has hinted that she will be there on Monday with a firearm, barring access to her property. If I was them...I'd be scared. I hope she doesn't get arrested. I am short on bail money this month.

She may be short. She may look meek and mild (actually she doesn't). But she carries a huge can of Texas-sized "Whoop Ass"--and she WILL open it up on ya. If I was brave I'd hide in her house and catch it all on tape. But I'm afraid. Very afraid.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

And You Wonder Why I Am "Crazy" (aka Insane)...

The past 17-18 days, Cliff Notes Version:

On the 30th Claudia was dx with an ear infection, a few days later Carson was too--along with strep. He puked (that word really describes it well too) on me twice. On himself twice. Pooped his pants once. On the floor 1/2 a time. Got a shot once (but stabbed twice). 3 copays at $20 each= $60 that was probably owed to the electric company.

All 3 on antibiotics (but different ones). One "pink kind" @ 2 tsp, 3 times per day. One white kind @ 1 tsp (or 5.5 ml) 2 times per day. This one needed a straight jacket and 30 minutes of bribery. EACH time. Another white kind. Can't remember the dosage--but we finished it I promise. $10 + $10 + $10 = $30 that was probably owed to the lunch ladies for Claudia's seriously over drawn account.

BOTH pregnate cats (Greycee and Maycee) gave birth one the same day... in the same place...we now own 7 kittens, 3 cats, 4 dogs, 1 horse, and a partridge in a pear tree. The animals food costs more than ours now. PS: The Mama cats are tag teaming it. We have no idea who's babies are who's...they have no idea either. A mama is nursing 24/7. OUTSIDE, in the barn.

Calie met a 17 year old boy. That she likes. He is bad. He has done (prob still does) drugs. Has had sex. Hasn't graduated high school (cause he isn't GOING). Lost his driver's license--I mean it was TAKEN from him for too many speeding tickets. And he callllled her!! wth!? But he lives in another town (she met him at her best friends house). So, there will be no "dating" this dude. Ever. Ever.

Had my MRI. The tumor "appears to be a 'lipoma'--" Which is fancy talk for a fatty tumor--a glob of chicken fat. But I'm seeing the oncologist anyways--since the MRI can't say "malignant". AND they found an ovarian cyst measuring 2.7 X 3.something on the opposite side of my body. Did I tell them to look for other things? No. I've had cysts before. 3 that I know of. ALL 3 sent me to the ER (once while pregnate with Claudia)--when they busted open and spilled their VENOM inside my body. So, of course my GYN wants me to wait until June 7th to "see if it has shrunk" Ha. yeah, right.

My Mother In Law (whom I ADORE), gave me kitchen towels for Mother's Day. And she bought a necklace (I am sooooooo not a jewelry person that I won't even be able to describe it other than): It is gold. Has a mom and baby on it. and either diamond are good look a likes. She gave it to Cliff to give to me "from the kids". Is it really ungrateful to say that I really wanted a new digital camera? OH YEAH!!! Cliff broke my camera--so now I am using a throw away instead of my Olympus Camedia. (sniff)

I started donating plasma for $50 per week. Plus, it makes me feel good about myself.

Took Caden back to the doctor. He has another (or still) ear infection in one ear--AND they gave him a breathing treatment, on account he has been coughing and wheezing..for days. Seems it helped ALOT. So we now own a machine. And I get to hold him and blow smoke up his mouth/nose 4-5 times per day, while he screams bloody murder. So now he's on the "z" antibiotic--which doesn't come in generic. $35 copay for the machine. $50 in antibiotics and liquid smoke. $20 copay at the docs = $105, all in one day...no food included.

Registered Carson for Pre-K next year (a thing both longed for and dreamed of).

and the best thing that has happened in the last 17-18 days?? I drank a sangria margarita! And was nearly drunk for 45 minutes. Ahhh, bliss.

Can't wait to see what is going to happen next!!!!