Thursday, September 29, 2005

Do-Do On A Stick...

I feel awful. I am sick. My head hurts. My throat hurts. My voice is failing (darn! How will I scream at the kids?). I feel like crap. It's some sinus/cold thing that, I am sure, is a side effect of Rita. It's cooler here today--in the low 70's this morning. The kids were screaming "I'm cold! I'm cooooold like a popsicle!" That should make my cold clear right up, huh? Steamy weather then cool weather. You know what they say about E Texas weather? If you don't like it--just hang around 10 minutes--it'll change.

Tara (my lovely new sister-in-law) did lose the baby. My heart aches for her. She spent a lot of time over here this week. Just hanging out. We talked about miscarriages (I told her all about mine). And breastfeeding. And just "stuff" in general. It was nice to get her all to myself. We even went to a Scrapbooking Party (hosted by my Sister). Y. From might be proud that I actually LIKED this crafty thing we did there. We made little pages for Calie (since she babysat the kids for us so we could go). I might be inclined to buy some stuff (but from Wal-Mart, not thru the $$ company) at a later date, like, when we actually have money to spend on fluffy stuff.

Calie had an "almost" boyfriend last week too!! He even hugged her in the hall one morning--and that afternoon I found myself practicing "hugging" with Calie...She needed to practice with me so she wouldn't seem too "I don't really know how to do this and it's awkward"...I told her that I refused to practice kissing if and when that came up. But, he seems to be history now--Calie heard some unfavorable things about this boy (like he pulled a knife on someone...), so she is avoiding him like the plague now. Dodging him in the cafeteria and slinking around the halls. She asked him about it and he said "yeah--but that was last year...I'm really a good boy." But she would rather "just be friends...From a distance". End of next week she starts a project in her Childhood Development class. She has to carry around a doll--we have to make it weigh 10lbs--for 2 weeks. She has to take care of it as if it was her child. She named her (IT's A GIRL!) Riley Anne. She has to take pictures and make like a baby book too. She is excited about it--but embarrassed too. She told me and Tara "A doll is just not a cool accessorie, you know!?"

Claudia had school pictures today. I forgot--so she will look like an orphan. I'm not buying any--they make you pay in advance--before seeing them...ummm, no. Later in the year they will take them again--they show you those before you buy--they cost more, but... the one taken today will be in the yearbook. eeek.

Carson has a new "thing". He has been calling me an "ogre". In public. Loud. Then laughing his head off--luckily his speech is still hard to figure out by most English speaking people. I try to ignore it--but he is hard to ignore.

Caden is a liar. He has been saying "I don't drink out of a bottle" since he was born. I found out that he *really* means: "I will drink anything out of a bottle *except* formula--which tastes like rat posion". So...I guess I will have to figure a way to use that electric pump more often--so I can save up some milk for if/when I need to give him a bottle--like...on my anniversary, which is coming up October 8th--I think we will go out to eat at a resturaunt without any playground equipment!! A few days ago I pumped 6 oz in 8 minutes. I was in shock and awe.

Ok, I need to go feed Ccarson some lunch--and take more dimetapp. I can't breef. and me 'ead hurts.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Storm Update...

It is 11:15AM here on Saturday. We are a little wet and alot of windy. We still have electricity and satellite TV. Cliff is at work, so I had to batten down the hatches myself--and go to the feed store for extra hay and stall shavings. I went down to the interstate to buy Mickey D's for the kids for breakfast--past all the church's that are temporary shelters, the parking lots were full. There wasn't alot of traffic. I guess everyone is staying in, getting ready.

Calie and I went out to get Doc (her horse) up to the small pasture, near the barn. He didn't really want to come up. It was sprinkling, so Calie had her umbrella--which promptly turned inside out. We were laughing so hard. It was almost fun--like a tiny adventure. I hope we still feel light hearted later.

On a very sad note: Tara (my new and much loved sister-in-law) may be having a miscarriage. They live in Galveston county--on the peninsula and are staying near here to weather the storm. I'm hoping it is "just bleeding" and not a true miscarriage. She and Josh were *Oh So Happy* when the test was positive--I hope...Well, you know what I hope. Will you hope with me? The stress of the storm can't be helping...And I know she is worrying and questioning every thing she has done in the last few days. Bless her heart. I ache for her worrying.

I am hoping that the storm was less than expected everywhere. Poor Louisiana. My heart aches for them. They have had way more than their share of crap.

Now, I'm gonna lighten my thoughts and go read a few of my favorite blogs. and and and a few others...

Friday, September 23, 2005

That Bitch: Rita...

I know that everyone is about tired of all the hurricane crap--I have a massive headache from watching The Weather Channel and CNN Headline News for days now. But I can't stop. Even tho I really want to. My Aunt and Uncle (who raised me) live on the Bolivar peninsula. So does my lil brother/cousin and his new bride of 3 months, who is also 5 week pregnate. They all drove 5-6 hours a few days ago to come here--to wait out Rita. They may be homeless when it's all over. All of their cars are packed with clothing, cats, dogs and picture albums. I can't even imagine their fear. ALL of their belongings may be gone. Their homes.

We lived on the peninsula once--we moved there when Carson was 5 weeks old. I needed my Mommy to help me with my kids. Help me from going insane--taking a long walk on a short pier. We lived there for about a year--a little less. We have alot of memories there. Christmas on the beach. Ferry rides. Carson learned to walk there. Claudia loved to pick up shells on the beach. Calie had her first slow dance with a boy there...And it may be gone.

My Aunt and brother don't seem worried at all. I guess there is no use in worrying--it won't help, or so they say. So I worry for them. Cliff and Calie have a baby horse there. They bought her from some dear friends that breed, raise and show World Champions. Their little filly was due to come home in about 2 weeks. Mr. L (the breeder) had to turn 20+ horses out to pasture--he could only take 3 with him when they evacuated. Their filly had to be left behind. Calie is so worried that the horse may drown. Or get mangled in the flood waters and fencing...Or starve. It's all she can talk about. We second guess ourselves and wish we had gone days ago to get her--but like alot of people we kept waiting to see what would happen--would the storm turn? Fade away? Guess we shouldn't have waited. Hindsight is always 20/20, huh?

So I keep watching TV. Praying. Hoping. And wondering what the storm will do to us--5 hours inland. 120 miles East of Dallas. People are going crazy buying the grocery store out of water, food, gas. What will the next few days be like? I don't like this. I hope everyone is safe. As safe as can be.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I Just Can Not Believe It...Period.

Today my 9th grader. My 14 year old. My firstborn baby. My "Sweet Pete". My Calie O'Malley.

She started her period today. At school. When I went to pick her up this afternoon I saw her walking fast to the truck. I saw this grin on her face. She was walking so fast...In a hurry to tell me. And I just knew. I could tell. She was giddy. She talked all about it--all the way home. I had to stop off at the store and buy supplies for her (I still haven't started my period after having Caden). I also bought her favorite deli chicken and a chocolate cake--we are celebrating tonight!! She admitted to wearing folded up toilet paper in her panties all day--and checking on it after every class--poor baby.

She said she would never wear tampons. She was afraid it would hurt. Claudia (overhearing us) asked "Momma why is Sissy wearing a coupon?!" I almost drove off the road laughing. I told Calie they made very slim tampons--but I thought it was a good idea to wait on the tampons.

So we made it home and got her set up. And called Daddy. He was happy for her too--and thought we were a little silly--but really!? It is an important day for a girl--one of those days you never forget--I want her memory to be that we were happy and proud of her--and that we celebrated HER that day...

But I'm a tad sad. This is the real beginning of her leaving home. Next will be a car where she will physically drive away...Then college. Then (gasp) marriage (oh, dear Father, let that be after she graduates college, please). They really do grow fast, people. And it's true: Why *can't* they just stay little til their Carter's wear out!!???

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Monday, September 19, 2005

Working For A Living...

Today I went to my former employers to return some baby clothes that were graciously loaned to me for Caden (I am in love with "sharing" aren't you!?). It was so weird being there. Some days I am so happy to be home with my kids. I love having time to play outside with them and to color at the table...But today it really hit me. I miss working too. I miss having that "team" spirit everyday. I miss talking with people that are over 14. I miss getting paid in real money (as opposed to the slobbery kisses--which I love). I can't work outside the home right now. I can't afford to. Daycare is expensive. And really don't think I want to work--but I miss it. I miss feeling like I am doing something important. And I KNOW that raising my kids is important--but I don't really give it the attention it REALLY needs, ya know? I miss *feeling* important. Every job I've ever had I was good at. I was. I was never a rocket scientist--but I was always a supervisor somewhere. I made sure that my team worked hard and had fun working hard.

Now I supervise poop. I wash 1-2 loads of laundry a day (and put up 0-1). I cook chicken alot and can pour a mean glass of invisible KoolAid. I use about 7 diapers a day and 20 babywipes. I wash my kids by first letting them "soak" the bulk of the dirt/germs off (which is my blog time). I have eyes in the back of my head and can get small people to "settle" by merely picking up a fly swatter (no swats required). I spot mop my kitchen daily and scrub toilets on a need-to basis. I suck at housework actually. Calie is the cleaner in the house, I'm more of a "straightener". But it's OK. I'm not winning any awards here but I'm not about to be fired either.

I guess I like the job I have now. It's harder than any job I've ever had. And it sure beats wearing pantyhose and heels everyday. Maybe one day I can work outside the home again. But if not--I'll be OK. I like my position--Vice President of my branch of the Family Tree.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Fan A Little Flame...

Romance. After almost 17 years (next month) you don't really expect romance. So, when it happens it is surprising, almost like winning a lottery. Last night I got me some--romance (and that other thing too). This time was better than last time. It was like a "hey, how ya been, I missed you" sex thing. It was really nice. I didn't feel creepy or very fat. Just a tad chubby. And it spilled over to today. Moonpie is off this weekend. That usually means things won't run as smooth. We have different ideas of how the house runs. I do it MY way while he is at work then I compromise and let him feel like he is running the show when he is off. But things went well.

Moonpie had to go to town (geez. Does that sound as "country" to you as it does to me?) and he wanted Calie to go with him but she didn't really want to go...So I went. We left Calie home in charge of Claudia and Carson and me and the baby went to town with Moonpie. We were gone for about 2 hours and it was so nice. Just us in the truck--I sat in the back with the baby but it was still real nice talking to each other instead of the kids. And at the store I felt like a newlywed with ONE baby. We took turns toting him around and cooing and gooing to him. It was nice. When we got back home Moonpie cooked hamburgers on the grill and I bathed kiddos.

I guess what I'm trying (not too well) to say is that I really felt like part of a team today. And our team won the homecoming game. Let's hope we make it to the play-offs!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Hitting The Bottle...

I normally rely on Zoloft to get me thru the day without hitting on my kids. Or running away. Or planning a party of one in the trunk of my car, with a good book, a flashlight and the required amount of carbon dioxide. And I saw today that I'm running low. I have about 30 days left on my RX. Which means I will have to go back to my doctor and say "Remember me? The crazy chick? I'm still crazy." I really need something different or stronger. I'm having rages. Ever have those? Where one minute your kids (or your life) is OK. Then in the amount of time it takes to trip over another kid or scream at the top of your lungs "STOP SCREAMING!!!"...You snap. In two. Actually in four. Shattered. Then I feel like a bitch and a failure the rest of the day. Which makes you want to plan that party I was talking about... And I wonder how you say that to a doctor without getting either your kids taken away or yourself locked up in a straight jacket. So, hmmm, I need to figure out when I can get myself to the doctor. And what I say. I will obsess about what to say up until I say it. I will probably have to write it out. Make note cards (actually I'm kidding on the note cards...). Practice in the shower.

Then I worry that I will have to stop breastfeeding Caden. I LOVE to breastfeed him. Nothing sweeter than that plump, dimpled hand gripping my shirt--except him blowing raspberries and milk all over my nips (his new trick). I have been trying to get him to drink from a bottle. I've tried maybe 2-3 times per week since he was 6 weeks old. He hates it. He will suck my boob, my fingers, knuckles, even my chin. His fingers. Has sucked a paci twice. Sucked his toy stuffed giraffes ears and even attempted to suck Moonpie's nipple--but place a bottle in his mouth and he acts like you are feeding him poison. I've tried, like 4 diff nipples too. So he would starve if I had to wean right now. So, maybe I'll just stay on the "Z" and start drinking wine out of a box or smoking weed (I'm doing that kidding thing again).

Another good idea: Claudia is trying to convince me to have a tea party (RIGHT NOW MOM!)...And her idea of a tea party is drinking tea and eating chocolate. Chocolate sounds like a mood lifter...A pretty good drug if you ask me... Time for tea!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Kidneys and Refried Beans...

I took Calie to the urologist yesterday. They still don't have the "stone stuff" back from the lab. The doc wants to send her to a nephrologist (creepy name huh?), that's a kidney specialist. The closest pediatric nephrologist is about 120 miles away. Great. Groovy. Another whole day of school shot to hell. Calie is thrilled. I talked to the urologist about Moonpie--and his need for a snip snip here-a snip snip there...she gave me a pamphlet to bring home to him. When we were checking out Calie decided to get business card of her urologists to put in her "special box" (which is a box of every thing that she has deemed "special" since she was about 5--it's a big box). So. She picks up her docs card--and there are 3 more different cards there...2 are partners of Calie's doc and the other is for the R.N. Calie snaps one up, laughing her head off and says "Oh Mom!! We *gotta* give this one to Dad! Clip it to his paperwork!" I take the card from her and read it: "S. Hooter, R.N." haha Hooter! Get it? Oh well.

Today me and my sister. My sister and I. We went to a craft shop and bought stuff to make homecoming mums for my girls (Moonpie is taking them to the game Friday) and garters for her boys (their homecoming is 2 weeks away--different school district). I've never made a mum before...But they look OK. Calie said she would wear hers. Claudia wants hers NOW. I burned my fingers on the hot glue gun. Crafting is not my forte. They have footballs and whistles and bells and "Good Luck" charms. And rabbits feet... Pretty ribbons. After the crafting my sister took me out to eat Mexican Food (oh my heavens!). She let Caden suck refried beans off her finger--if he has toxic poo I am calling her to change his diapers. He thought the refried beans were yummy (they were). Carson behaved. Except once when Caden was fussing a little (wanted more beans) Carson said "Hurry, he wants boob milk!" and once he said (yelled at the top of his lungs) "I need to poop! I need to poop!" Other than that it was a good day...But I just heard Caden poop his pants. eeewwwww.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

"A, Bay, C, D..."

Claudia is really learning her A B C's. I bought them a set of foam alphabets to play with in the bath tub. She knows alot of them by sight and knows the sounds of some too. The other night she sat in the bubbles holding a "B".

C: "Momma, I need the "bay".

Me: "What?"

C: "The bay...To spell baby."

Me: "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

C: "I need to spell baby. I have the "B" and I need the "bay"...You know, BAY B?"

She said it in a "gawd, you are so stoopid" voice. Smarty pants.

Poke, Poke...

Carson has this "thing" he does right now. I'm hoping it's a stage. One he out growns SOON. He loves to poke us in the butt. With his finger. HARD. Then he giggles like a mad man. Not just in the butt--but in the crack. We have clothes on--so don't think he is poking us in the raw. Or that we run around naked--we don't. Well, most of us don't. Everyone 4 and under love to be naked. The 14 and above set remain clothed at all appropriate times.

The other day, Carson, Caden and I went to pick up the Claudia from school. We got there a little early so we had to stand in the foyer of the school and wait for the bell with all the other "early bird" parents. So, I am holding Caden in my left arm. Holding Carson's hand with my other. There was this lady standing in front of us. She had to be wearing the TIGHTEST jeans I have ever seen. I'll bet when she took her pants off later that the seams were impressed all along her thighs. And all the rivets were accounted for too. Anyhoo--her *big* ass was right at Carson's eye level--so he couldn't resist, I guess...

Poke, Poke... I saw it. I yanked him back with my hand and said "NO! Don't do *that*!" I saw her s l o w l y turn around and look down at him with a little grin. And Carson said "Groooowl! (like a sick tiger, baring his teeth) I will scare you with my scary teef!!" And all I could mutter with a burning red face? "I'm so sorry. He hasn't had a nap."

Turned On...

I have been turned on to a drug. A drug so powerful that I have been spending all my internet time in one place. I have neglected my own blog, all because of "E". Have you read HER blog( )? Go check it out...She is one cool cat (oops, wasn't supposed to mention cats!)! I am her not-so-secret-admirer and now she has turned me on to a harder, more addictive drug... DOOCE ( ). I am so in love now. If I was gay I would be *in* love with "E" and Heather. I wanna be both of them when I grow up. "E" has a single, carefree life with Ken--and a cool job. And she take the best photos. I love her pics. She has balls. She will tell it like it is. And she is cooool. And young. And hip. Don't mess with her. Heather has balls too. And she is funny. Even when talking about her depression I am impressed with her. She is very honest about everything. And brave. I can relate to her and I wish I was as funny.

So that's where I have been for the past few days. Reading Heather's blog. From the beginning (of what is in archives) up to about June this year (still reading). And it's all due to "E" turning me onto dooce. Can't get the monkey off my back. Don't want to. And I am trying to get YOU to go take a hit. It's like Lay's--you can't eat just one.

Now I will try to catch you up on what's been going on here... My life is so boring --but it's all I got, ok?

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

My Secondary Infertile Tale...

Once upon a time I married Moonpie (after a long 3 month courtship). After 18 months I threw my birth control pills out of the window (not really). We didn't have to wait long. We had steamy sex alot and 2 months later the stick had 2 lines. Enter Calie. Cute. FUNNY.

"Let's wait til she is potty trained--then have another!" Then, "Let's wait til she starts school--then have another!" Then, without really trying, I got pregnate. We were thrilled. The day I told my parents--I started bleeding. I was so sad. It still haunts me.

That started the "Hunt for 2 Lines". I started writing down every time we had sex. Every time my period started. How long it lasted. Took several (waaay more than several) home pregnancy tests. Went to the doctor. Started taking my temperature every day. Charting my cycles. Reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". Joined online groups of other desperate, hopeful, Mommy wanna bes. Shared **baby dust**. Checked my cervical mucous (umm, yuck). Made Moonpie perform on demand. Don't worry, he enjoyed it all. For once *I* was begging for sex. Made him "shoot a load" into a cup (we were in a parking lot of a Mexican resturaunt) so I could have him tested (He had "Super Sperm") at a local lab. Peed on Ovulation sticks. Took MORE home pregnancy test (that I failed). Went *back* to the doctor. Cried. Alot.

Three years after I started hunting... I had my pipes cleaned out (my tubes were a little slow and they flushed them out). Three days after that--I got pregnate. I thought our world was perfect. We were moved into our new house. Moonpie had a good job at the hospital--in the medical field. I had a good job for someone eho had never finished college. I was a supervisor. Salary. We were bringing home about $5,000 per month. Then I was downsized (that company is in the toliet now hee hee). Depressed. Hospitalized (pregnancy complication). Had to sell our house (MY dream house). Enter Claudia. Precious. 2 girls--10 years apart! Moved. Then I found out I was pregnate again. What the fuck!? I hadn't even had a period yet! Claudia was 6 month old for Jims sake! Then I lost my mind. Zoloft was prescribed. I was put on suicide watch by Moonpie. Enter Carson. Momma's Boy. And when he was 5 weeks old, we moved 5 hours away to be close to family who could watch me while Moonpie was at work. Finally, the post partum/ptsd lifted...

Three years later, we were looking to buy another house. We were back in East Texas. Both of us working. Moonpie at the local hospital. Me in a local doctor's office. I was enjoying working. Our finances were becoming stable again. We found Moonpie's dream home. Out in the boon docks. A barn. 4 acres, COUNTRY living. I was on "that patch" that is supposed to work like the pill. One week before closing on the house, I found out I was pregnate again. WHAT!? HOW!? WHY!?

I quit my job (I puke ALOT while pregante). Jumped back on Zoloft. Cried alot. Was in shock. HATED my life. Had a few scares (and an amnio). Enter Caden. Awwww. perfect.

Now, I have 4 beautiful kids that I love more than life. Every single one of them are my most prized possesions (even tho a suspect 2 of them are possessed by Satan). I don't regret them at all. I treasure them. They make our family perfect. Moonpie and I are in love with them. He worships and spoils them all.

I know how hard it is to want kids and feel denied. And I know how it is to have those "OH MY GAWD" 2 lines. I wouldn't trade any of it. Or change any of it. It's made me who I am. Mom to four.

I dunno know nuttin' 'bout birthin' no babies...

First of all, don't be pissy at me. I can't help it. I can't. I know you are tired of hearing about my kids. But I have a few (four is really more than 'a few', isn't it?). And they are my life. Sure, I emotionally scar them and I have been known to want to beat the hell outta them (but I've actually only done it a few times--and if you don't know me :I AM KIDDING!). But this blog is not as cool as E's ( )'s about ME. And my family. My family that is full of stubborn, spoiled brats. That are adorable and lovey and huggy and make me laugh my ass off on a daily basis. And roll my eyes. And envision ads placed in the local Thrifty Nickel...

But last night it hit me. I was breastfeeding Caden. He kept looking up at me, one chubby hand flat on my breast. kneading it. Then he would break into the biggest smile, pull off the nipple--breast milk squirting all over. Drooly-milk running down his chin. Then he would realize that his snack was literally pouring out and he would turn his head, left and right, back and forth and "jump" back on the boob. *This is my last baby*. My last Johnson & Johnson's perfumed, diapered, fuzzy haired baby. When he weans there will never be another child at my breast. My boobs are almost out of a job (unless they get a BOOB JOB--then Moonpie will find *something* for them to do). It is very likely that Calie will be the next Mother in our family. eeeek. YEARS from now. Years, I say.

My brother and his 'ho (I mean wife) can't have anymore (thank goodness). My sister, who is a wonderful Mommy, HAD to have surgery that left her infertile. That's who needs to have a baby! My sister!!! She should adopt. She should! Her husband is a great Daddy too. They DO things with their family--they have 2 boys. Camp. Go fishing. They have a freaking "farm" on their tiny piece of property. A hog. A goat. Several dogs. Usually cats (but not right now, I don't think). A turtle. Fish. Two ferrets. A big hampter thingy--a Guniea pig? They used to have a turkey. Oh! and chickens. What kid wouldn't want to live on Old McDonald's Farm!? And she is like, the homeroom mom. And the Boy Scout/Cub Scout Mom/Leader thingy. They are the most loving parents.

So, I gotta find her a baby. She (I) needs one. If I start looking for one now--I might be able to find one about the time Caden starts walking--then I wouldn't really be "baby free"--would I? I could still soak up all that 'fountain of youth' stuff that Frank on "Everyone Loves Raymond" is always talking about... Now instead of being depressed about all the baby things that Caden is growing out of... I can start imagining the NEXT baby in them. The little gowns. The tiny, fuzzy socks. The cute onsies.

I guess I should talk to my sister first, huh? Ask her what flavor she wants and all.

And I guess (when we win the lottery) I need to see about getting Moonpie 'snipped and clipped'--so that if we ever have sex again I won't turn up pregnate. Funny how 6 years ago we couldn't get pregnate--and now I can't keep from it. And yet that's what we need to do. Keep from it, I mean.

Now I gotta post about trying to have a baby...when you can't.

Monday, September 05, 2005

My Favoritest Black N Whites...

I love black n white. It is so forgiving. The first picture is of Moonpie and Claudia. Claudia was about 3 or 4 months old.

This next one is Carson and Claudia taken in 2004... totoally un posed too!

And this one is Carson potty training. He *still* likes to sit backwards most of the time.

Ok, that's all for now. Calie isn't fond of having her picture taken--and if I do she criticizes every hair strand that she imagines is out of place. gawd. I have no idea where she got the high maintenance stuff--certainly not from me (not kidding).

For Your Viewing Pleasure...

And my bragging rights...I'm gonna try to post a few (less than 100) pictures. The first 4 are all recent (like this week) pictures of the kids...

Now I'm gonna try to post one of ME and was taken October 2004 (our 16th Anniversary)...

All pictures were taken by ME (except the one of me and Moonpie--that one was taken by Calie)

That's all for now. Coming soon: Extra cute photos--my all time favorite black N whites.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Circ(us) So Lame...

Moonpie and I took the small kids to the circus last night. Calie stayed over at her 4H horse trainers house--to babysat her kids. Boy, they just don't make 'em like they used to huh? This circus was lameO. It was free for the kiddos. Cost Mom and Dad $12 each. Bottled drinks were $3 each. Little light up toys were $10 each. The look on Carson's face as he touched a huge scary ugly Python Snake: Priceless. And I didn't get a picture either. damnit.

But it was good family fun. Good "do something together" fun. Claudia really only wanted cotton candy. Half way thru Carson was saying "let's go home now". It was hot. I was sweaty. Had a raging headache but after I took 2 vicodin I felt GREAT.

The headmaster--no, ringmaster...Was creepy. First of all it was a woman. In skintight clothes. And she sing songed her words so bad that I couldn't understand what she was saying--but she was trying to sound like that dude that emcees for boxing..."Leeeet's geeeeet readyyyy tooooo ruuuuummmmbbbble".

A lady (using that term very loosely) in front of us kept trying to talk to the kids. She was missing alot of her hair and a few teeth. She sorta freaked me out. Any time I take the kids to the park or zoo or anything "kid friendly" I worry that some pedophile is lurking around there waiting to get a cute kid (and we all know mine are the cutest). Once she asked Claudia how old she was and Claudia said "Something stinks. Bad." and held her nose and crawled over the seat to sit with her Daddy. I don't know it her breath smelled bad or she farted. I just turned my head to escape a smell and so she wouldn't see me trying to hold back a big ole 'laugh in your face' laugh.

After the elephants came out and danced around we left. Got home about 10:30PM. Got everyone tucked in and headed to bed. Moonpie dreamed about werewolves and I dreamed about an elephant running off with our kids.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire...

Claudia came home from school yesterday. Singing "I have a new friend. I haaave a new frrrriend..."

ME: "So tell me about your friend, Claudia."

C: "Her name is Cassie. She wore a shirt with stripes on it. And a bow in her hair."

ME: "Oh, Yeah!? Is she nice?"

C: "Yep. She even takes naps. I don't take a nap. And she is little. Little like Taylor. And cute."

ME: "I'm glad you made a new friend."

C: "And she is in a wheelchair..."

OMG. I was so happy. What a sweet girl. She described her new friend and the fact that she was in a wheelchair was LAST on her list. How proud I was. Until later...

ME: "Tell Daddy about your new friend..."

C: "Her name is Cassie."

That was all. We couldn't get her to tell anything else. So Calie asks her: "Is she tall?" "Can she run fast?"

C: "She can run faster than ME!"

ME: "Wait a minute...I thought you said she was in a wheelchair?"

C: "Oh. I was just teasing!"

Little turd, here I thought she was so sweet and non prejudiced...And really she is a liar.

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Ding, Dong The Stone Is Gone, The Wicked Stone Is Gone...

The surgery went great. They expected it to be about 45 minutes, but after 15 they called us on the little cell phone and said "We're done!"....Amazing. I actually thought when they called us (so soon) that they were calling to say "There was no stone". But there really was. Calie seemed fine in recovery. She was feeling like she needed to pee--so the nurse took her to the bathroom. There was blood in her urine and there was little urine. So the nurse gave her a pill to keep her bladder from having spasms and told us that the medicine would make her pee orange.

We headed home. Then her pain set in. She was hurting and crying all the way home. I felt so bad for her. We got her home. Percoset and bladder pill. And that nurse wasn't kidding. I'm talking ORANGE! She stayed home from school the next day--I'm still unsure if she was lying--but she *said* she had a headache. But now she is fine. We find out in a week or so about the stone--what it's made up of and all that jazz.

I'm just glad it's gone. Now maybe she can sleep in her own bed. And be pain free.

Today she said she had to tell someone HOW the doctor got the stone out. I'll bet the girl was almost as embarrassed as Calie was. I remember being that modest--a tampon commercial caused me much grief if a male was anywhere near and heard/saw it also. Heck, I remember being partially shaved while in labor with Calie and almost dying from embarrassment. The little "helper" type nurse looked like she was 16. My own husband had never been that close to my neither regions (with a razor and 700 watt bulb)--and here was a little black girl with a Gillette razor and no soap/shaving creme. Ugh. I break out in a sweat just thinking about it... Now, 4 kids later, half of the nursing staff at the local hospital has seen my "bits"...I should have charged admission...