Friday, April 20, 2007

Bipolar Thoughts...

My life really is a mess right now. Calie is sneaking out, lying...being 16. Carsons ADHD meds stopped working long enough for him to spray paint my washer and dryer black (in the middle of the night)...then a few days later he busted 30 eggs into his bed and carpet in the middle of the night. We started him on new meds yesterday--so far so good. I have been diagnosed as bipolar. I'm on enough meds that sound scary to start my own psychotic show (Lithium and Klonopin to name a few).

And Moonpie (AKA Asshole) left me on Monday because he "Couldn't support me in the way I needed". He also isn't attracted to me AT ALL--and there isn't even a "spark" there anymore. 12 hours later he changed his mind and begged me to let him stay-- I may be fucking crazy but I told him to get his crap and GO. It's gonna take ALOT to heal these wounds--they may never heal. But I will survive (With God and some gooooooood drugs). PS: He left all 4 kids, 6 dogs, 5 cats (and 4 kittens) and 1 fish with me. He went to his mothers (who has yet to call and check on her "daughter-in-law OR grandkids). Wednesday was his day off--he didn't come see the kids. He saw them last night.

I gotta go. I have no concept of time right now and I need to ice some cupcakes for school.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Honey. Oh Martie. I wish it wasn't so awful for you right now. Even that sounds silly, doesn't it? I just can't think of anything else to say.

Damn.

leslie

Sam said...

Deep breath, Martie. call me if you like - or email me your number and I'll call you. I can't even imagine how you're coping, but don't let others make it more complicated than it already is - Moonpie included.

Thinking of you - and throwing carrots all over the place.
Sam

Lora said...

Martie, I'm not sure what to say either... Try to make things less compicated for yourself. For example, why do you have so many pets? lol That alone would make me head for the shrink. And good for you for sticking to your guns and not letting the A-hole back. He isn't helping your situation at all, so it might help to get rid of him too. Many hugs for you, my friend.

Lora

PATTY said...

Oh MARTIE-
I'VE BEEN WAITING TO SEE ANOTHER POSTING FROM YOU. YOU ARE A VERY STRONG PERSON. NO MATTER WHAT GRIEF YOU ARE DEALT, YOU ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO DO AS BEST YOU CAN. YOU HAVE GOTTEN THROUGH SOOOOO MANY ROUGH PATCHES AND MADE THE BEST OF THINGS. HERE'S HOPING THAT YOU FINALLY GET A BREAK, SOME RELIEF, SOME LIGHT AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW--
PATTY (SESRUN)- WHO YOU PROBABLY DON'T REMEMBER, BUT I WANTED TO SEND YOU A GIANT HUG

Kimmykay said...

Martie, are you there? You have been in my prayers.

Candy said...

Oh honey, I'm so sorry ((HUGS))

Anonymous said...

((((Martie)))), I hope things are going a little better these days. Please update.

Bethany

Kimmykay said...

Still thinking about you and checking in. Just wanting you to know you are loved out here.

esthela said...

Alright, seriously--make an appearance already.

Anonymous said...

Martie's computer died... She went on a cruise (such FUN) and Moonpie came home a few days ago.

Martie's Sis

esthela said...

A cruise? That little hussy! Tell her I said hello and smoooches!