We had our session (counseling) on Friday. I was proud of myself, I only cried once. Here is the "cliff notes" version:
Moonpie admitted to being controlling and "picky" about the house. We talked for an hour and 30 minutes. Felt like 15 minutes. We each had to list 5 things the other did or didn't do that "bothered us".
HIS LIST: (things that *I* need to "work" on)
1. Take better care of myself (he's talking make up, better clothes, exercising, losing weight).
2. Control cussing (umm, yeah, I do. Like a sailor sometimes).
3. Clean house better (haha).
4. Make Calie do her chores (he says if I do this then I will have more "ME" time...Does he mean time to put on more makeup? Or exercise?)
5. Use my time more contructively (ditto the note on #4).
MY LIST: (things that *HE* needs to "work" on)
1. Undermining me with the kids/interrupting me while I discipline them.
2. Stop being so critical.
3. Lower his (very high) standards.
4. Involve me in financial matters (ie: spending, spending, spending without asking/talking/telling me).
5. Curb/control his hobbies and the time/money they require.
Our homework for the next 2 weeks is that I have to get 30 minutes of exercise per day. This is not for him but for ME. Dr Shrink (not her real name, obviously) said that I have low self esteem (duh) and that getting away from the house and recharging my batteries will help--and the weight loss and attention from the weight loss (from Moonpie) will just be an added benefit. His homework is to try not to be critical AT ALL. OH! And she said "no sex for 2 weeks" (hahahahaha--EASY!!!).
We left and hugged in the parking lot. I felt better already. It was hard to hear some of the things he said--and I'm sure he was shocked that I could actually talk (not scream) and I think he really listened. We are supposed to put our lists up where we can see them every day. Mine's hanging on the bathroom mirror. I have worn make up every day since. I walked 2.7 miles Saturday AM (omg). Then jumped in the jump house we rented for Claudia's birthday party. I thought my legs would fall off. I asked him Friday night "Do you think it [the counseling] will help?" and he said (in a joking voice--but COME ON!) "I think it's a waste of money." I looked at him in such a "you dic* head" way--he laughed and said "I'm just kidding!!" But it still hurt--I mean, if he said it there must be SOME tiny bit of truth, right? turd.
Sunday night I took Calie to the mall and bought her a shirt, a jacket and a little purse. Left the 2 kids with Moonpie and took Caden with us. When we got back a friend came over and I was cutting some birthday cake for them to take home (they weren't at the party the day before). Moonpie sees me and says "Are you eating cake!? Have you even had SUPPER yet!?" I thought I was going to blow a gasket. I said "WHY!? I am not eating cake. I am cutting it for them. But if I want cake for supper, that is what I will have." I was sooooooo irritated. There he was, trying to make me feel 4--again. Later he apologized--but geez!
He still hasn't hung his list up. It's in his wallet. This was his idea--he better put out some effort. He better watch it. I am liable to get skinny and in shape then leave his ass and make him pay me child support for 4 kids while I move to the beach, wear a bikini and work in a surf shop (no, I would NOT--well, maybe the get in shape part).
We are scheduled to go back in 2 weeks. I like the doc. I hope it works.
Birds get away with everything.
1 day ago