I have been running nonstop. It seems the only way to keep the uglies away (the ugly thoughts, I mean). I have made 3 small quilts and one top. Still have 2 more to do. I made Carson one to take to Day School (2 days per week). It has Spiderman on it. I made a friends little girl one that has the Disney Princess' on it. I am making Claudia one that has makeup and flowers and striped on it. And making the same friends other girl one with Winnie the Pooh. OH! Got to make Caden's (John Deer) and Calies (flowers). I only learned to sew on a machine when Mimi was here. She bought me my own sewing machine! I really like it. All I can do right now is make quilts...But I'm having fun. I'll post Carson's later so you can see it.
Carson has been to Day School 2 times. The first day he spit, hit and pinched his teacher. The second day he misbehaved so much that he was in the office and the director called me...With hints of him being sent home if he didn't improve--Thank Gawd he did--improve I mean. Little hellion. Earlier today Claudia got in trouble (just a talking to--not me screaming) and Carson thought it was funny to pull down his underwears (that's what HE call 'em), shake his naked rear at her and say "Na-Na-Nana boo-boo".
Claudia wrote "SAMAKLOS" a letter. And also wrote "Im spejlos far mi famle" (translation: I am speechless for my family.) Afterwards she wanted to know the definition of speechless...Something she has NEVER been.
Calie has been grounded for going on 4 weeks--with 3 more to go. All about her grades people. Last six weeks she went from an A in Algebra to a SIXTY-FIVE on her progress report! All because she isn't turning in (or doing) her homework--and not studying for tests. This child is smart. She has never had below a B+ in Math--she has always been on the A-B Honor Roll. So she was grounded--then report cards came out and her Math was a 73...And she was very hateful, disrepectful (mad at us for grounding her)...So she was grounded until the NEXT progress reports came out...And NOW her Math grade is a SIXTY-THREE!! She has 3 weeks to show us she is serious about her grades. And her attitude has to show marked improvement too. She hides in her room alot. So Moonpie has put a limit on her closed door--she hates that. But threatened with the door being removed HAS cause her to spend a little more time with the family.
Caden had double ear infections, a cold, 2 teeth come thru and thrush in his diaper area AND in his mouth--all in 2 weeks. It was horrible. But now he is happy again. He slept 6 hours last night in his OWN bed!! And he is Army crawling and even getting up on his feet and hands. Butt in the air--toooo cute.
I have good moments and bad ones. I had my 1-on-1 therapy last week. It went OK. I cried. It was draining--but I felt better when I left. I'm not planning on suicide or taking Caden with me anymore. Moonpie hid all his Vicodin. I'm taking my own medicine--correctly. Going to start exercising next week (once I get some of these quilts done). Mimi is coming on Friday to stay with us while Moonpie goes deer hunting (eewww). She will be here for a few days. My sister and G-ma and Mimi call me every day. Sometimes twice per day. I wrote my real mother an email (did I already tell you this?) I'll maybe post it later. It felt good to say the things that I had thought about saying for YEARS. I haven't heard from her since--and that was around the 11th of Nov. And I'm not hurt or bothered by it.
Cliff and I are OK. He is stressed out about money stuff (our lack of it)...He's going to talk to someone about consolidation. Doc (Calie's horse) is for sale. The baby horse may be put up for sale too. And the horse trailer. We have got to get rid of the things that aren't necessary so that we can pay for the necessary stuff. Like Christmas (haha) and try to get the bills paid down. Our spending needs to be slimmer too (as do I).
Hope you all are OK. I appreciate ALL the posts to me and the emails. I haven't been on the computer much in the past few weeks. But when I do it is nice to see that people are worried/thinking about me. I almost feel liked! haha
What an asshole.
14 hours ago