Sunday, December 04, 2005

Tweezers...Multi Use Tool...

Tweezers are incredible! I have used them for nasty eyebrows. For plucking sticker and slivers of wood from tiny feet. Moonpie has been know to use them to rip stray nose hairs(I know--Groooossss!). But today was the primo. Today I performed delicate surgery on Carson.

Have you ever heard some story about some kid that shoves a pea or button up their nose? And that sometimes a trip to the ER is required? Well, I have them allll beat. Today my 3 (almost 4) year old son, who is definitely in my top 5 favorite people, who is quite dramatic, came up to me and said "Momma. My butt hurts." Me, thinking constipation, says "Do you think you need to poop sweetie?" "No! There is something in there! See!?" He then drops his pants and bends over pulling his little cheeks apart to show me. Hmmm. What IS that? I DO see SOMETHING! I move in for a close up...He has put a BEAD! A square BEAD--like you find on a necklace--spelling out someone's NAME! INTO his BUTT! omg. omg. So I coax him to push it out. "Push it out Carson--like you have to poop." No Momma! It hurts! (*whimper whimper*)" ooooo mmmmmm gggggg.

So that is how I came to use tweezers to extract the letter "A" from his butt.

We followed up with a lesson in how very dirty with germs our behinds are. And that poop can come OUT of your behind--and even toots can--but absolutely NOTHING is to go UP the hiney!!! The lesson was actually AFTER a thorough hand washing--and tweezer disposal--we have a few more standing by for the next splinter or stray hair.

2 comments:

myfuckingeye said...

At least he had the right letter for ass. Smart kid.

Yolanda said...

Eek with the tweezers! But I must admit the whole A-hole thing was definitely correct since he used the letter A as your sis said.