I'm Scheduled...

I'm having it out on Wednesday. Today is Sunday. So...tomorrow my
sister is taking me to shop. She has a big ole $100 gift card to spend at Bath & BodyWorks...so I'm gonna help her pick out goodies (maybe a few for ME!)! We are going sans kids. Well except for her smallest. He will be in the third grade (slap me if I'm wrong, Little Sister) but acts like he is 40ish. I'm not kidding. He is very quiet. Reserved. He certainly makes up for her first one (although he is a GREAT kid too--just the opposite of his little bro).

Tuesday I am being chauffeured to Dallas by a friend. I hate driving in Dallas traffic. Plus she is from there--so she knows her way around. I have "pre OP" there. Which means we are driving about 3 hours to have my blood pressure taken and fill out 40 reams of paperwork. I'm sure that will totally piss me off. I just don;t understand why, why, WHY they can't just have me come in 2 hours early on surgery day and do it all then...

The very next day, Moonpie and I will drive right back up there for the snip-snip, sew-sew. So, at 1PM on Wednesday, while some of you are eating lunch, others are watching Days Of Our Lives (and you should be ashamed of yourselves, really!), I will be sucking gas and laying naked, white and fat on a table with several men looking at my stretch marks and funky hairline under a spotlight. Good times, people!

What I really started thinking about was...what will I wear post surgery?? Will my "drawers" irritate my site? Will I have to wear tent dress things for a few days? Will I have to have the stiches OUT or will they just fall out on their own? I really do not relish going back in (without gas) and having someone pull cat gut out of my...umm...l-l-l-l-l...sorry, can't say it. Will they shave a little strip? or the whole left side? Or the whole enchilada...or "taco"? How many times will Caden put his foot in my crotch? How many times will Carson elbow me there? How many times will Claudia ask to see my "'gina...Where they took out the knot" ?? Will sitting be a problem? Wouldn't bother me--sounds like a good reason for lounging on the couch for a few days in the prone position.

So. hmmmm. Think I'll just leave it there. End this one like this. Mainly because it is 9:20PM and Claudia wants to know it it's "sleepover night". (I usually let them have a night per week that we all sleep in the living room--them on pallets and me on the couch...they LOVE it. We watch TV until we fall asleep and sometimes--but not tonight--have popcorn) So I have to go get Moonpie out of the living room so we can snuggle down. Night all...