It hurts. Even after taking 3 small (375mg) Hydrocodone. After an ice pack for 8 hours straight. After laying on the couch, panty-less.
It is all black and blue too. Mainly blue with twinges of black. With white stitches poking out. And swollen. Hugely. I almost wish I could take a picture and post it on here and show you. You wouldn't believe it. It doesn't even LOOK like a hoo-ha SHOULD look. It is deformed. And it hurts.
I have pain sitting. Right now I am standing, bent over the keyboard with my naked ass pointed towards the fan. I can't wear anything but LOOSE pants--I've been wearing scrub bottoms or soft cotton work out capris--but the no panty rule sucks.
I won't see Dr Gynocological Oncologist/Surgeon/Twat Destroyer for 3 weeks. His nurse called me yesterday to check on my pain. And my poor, destroyed, maimed hoo-ha. I told her that the 30 pills they gave me would not make it long. She said they would refill me when I ran out--they BETTER!
She told me I could "resume my regular duties" BUT I can't: pick up anything over 10# for 2 weeks, shower--until I see the doctor, do alot of bending or stooping, vacuum or do "vigorous" housework OR have sex for 6 weeks (umm, yeah. like that is happening anytime soon. Soooo glad she told me this--I was thinking of trying all those funky positions in Cosmo on Saturday...)
One bright bit of sunshine: I got a letter from VIC!!!!! When I get lucid and have something to talk about besides my...ya know...purple/black caterpillar between my legs I'm gonna write her back (sending you hugs...Part of your letter made me sad--but I have soooo been there). Another happy bit: My 2 friends, who live here in this one horse town came over yesterday. One cooked home made chicken pot pie and a strawberry/cream cheese pizza! I just laid on the couch and held her 2 month old. My other friend sat and visited and played prison guard over Carson and Erins 2 girls--OH! and Claudia came over and visited us--She has been at my Grandmothers since Monday night.
Now I need to go lay down. Put more ice on it. Watch The Today Show. Sigh. Later...
UPDATED: I have become what I have sneered at.
5 hours ago