Friday, June 16, 2006

*Whine, Whine, Whine, Whine...*

It hurts. Even after taking 3 small (375mg) Hydrocodone. After an ice pack for 8 hours straight. After laying on the couch, panty-less.

It is all black and blue too. Mainly blue with twinges of black. With white stitches poking out. And swollen. Hugely. I almost wish I could take a picture and post it on here and show you. You wouldn't believe it. It doesn't even LOOK like a hoo-ha SHOULD look. It is deformed. And it hurts.

I have pain sitting. Right now I am standing, bent over the keyboard with my naked ass pointed towards the fan. I can't wear anything but LOOSE pants--I've been wearing scrub bottoms or soft cotton work out capris--but the no panty rule sucks.

I won't see Dr Gynocological Oncologist/Surgeon/Twat Destroyer for 3 weeks. His nurse called me yesterday to check on my pain. And my poor, destroyed, maimed hoo-ha. I told her that the 30 pills they gave me would not make it long. She said they would refill me when I ran out--they BETTER!

She told me I could "resume my regular duties" BUT I can't: pick up anything over 10# for 2 weeks, shower--until I see the doctor, do alot of bending or stooping, vacuum or do "vigorous" housework OR have sex for 6 weeks (umm, yeah. like that is happening anytime soon. Soooo glad she told me this--I was thinking of trying all those funky positions in Cosmo on Saturday...)

One bright bit of sunshine: I got a letter from VIC!!!!! When I get lucid and have something to talk about besides my...ya know...purple/black caterpillar between my legs I'm gonna write her back (sending you hugs...Part of your letter made me sad--but I have soooo been there). Another happy bit: My 2 friends, who live here in this one horse town came over yesterday. One cooked home made chicken pot pie and a strawberry/cream cheese pizza! I just laid on the couch and held her 2 month old. My other friend sat and visited and played prison guard over Carson and Erins 2 girls--OH! and Claudia came over and visited us--She has been at my Grandmothers since Monday night.

Now I need to go lay down. Put more ice on it. Watch The Today Show. Sigh. Later...

5 comments:

esthela said...

You had an icepack on.. there... for 8 hours straight? Gosh. I can't even begin to imagine what everything else must be like because just the icepack story itself makes me cringe. But you know what? You are awesome and you're going to get through this like you do everything else because you. are. amazing.

Anonymous said...

Sister- I love you! I hope you vajay-jay heals well and I hope you enjoy the beef tips and gravy!

Momo said...

Yes. Ice for 8 hours. Trust me--it felt good in comparision to the killer, throbbing, searing pain. Plus, after you pop a few pain pills it dulls the cold.

Momo said...

yes, sister. I will enjoy the beef tips and gravy (and rice). Thanks for making us dinner. My vajay-jay would thank you too...but it can't talk--it's lip is busted and swollen.

Candy said...

A lemon? Holy shhhheeat... A lemon?

I just don't know where to go with that...