Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I Hate The Not Knowing...

I hate not knowing the answer to things...Especially things I should already know. Like, if Calie tells me that she knows what I'm getting as a gift from Moonpie--it kills me. I will bug the heck out of her until she gives me hints or caves and tells me. Or if someone says they know more about a subject (like why one of the pediatricians resigned) I plead or beg until I get the low-down.

Last night Carson's teacher called me at home. Carson has been spending alot of time under the table in class. She is worried about him. Is it the meds? Part of the ADHD? Part of his manipulative mind (he IS pretty smart)? Or what!? Yesterday he crawled under the table and they decided NOT to spend time pleading and trying to get him to come out and sit/listen/watch what ever they were doing...she said he stayed under there for over an hour!!! Doing NOTHING. Just sitting there. Not really listening. Just "veggin'" under the table. The slightest little thing can set him off. At home he doesn't sit under the table--but he will say "I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm a scardey cat." and then run off to his room and hide under a blanket. He is non compliant (if it is something he doesn't want to do). He is more opositional. He even kicked his teacher on Friday and on Monday because she was "squeezing the blood" out of his arm. Really she was (gently) trying to get him to line up or sit down. Yesterday afternoon he hid from the student teacher (under a small table behind the door) and she had 3 teachers helping her "find" Carson. I imagine she was FREAKING out thinking "I have lost this kid! How do I tell his mother that I LOST him!?" I got him to come out (Claudia found him) after I sat on the floor and talked about him outloud. "I wish I could get Carson to come out here. I missed him today and I want to hug him. And I was going to take him to the park, too." He came out slowly and just crawled in my lap. We talked quietly for a few minutes--not about his being under the table, then we got up and left. He was fine the rest of the day (that I can remember).

I called his psychiatrist today--and they said it may be this evening before he calls me back, after he sees his patients. I really wonder if this is so NOT the right meds!? Or what? More time? Is there something I can/should be doing? Besides all the things I AM doing? Or instead of? uggghhhhh.

Today I dropped his meds back down to half in the AM and half in the afternoon. He had a good day at school...Today. Geez...I dunno....

PS: I just ordered "ADHD for Dummmies" from Barnes and Noble...should get it by Thursday...

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