I Heart You...

Awwww, you guys?!! You are too sweet...and obviously I am a creep--it has been almost a week since I last wrote. Let's see, what has happened since then?

OH! I got my meds...90 days worth! So I will be sane for at least another 3 months!! Yippee! (sigh) So, let the games begin!

Claudia cut her hair. She was doing "crafts" and didn't like that her bangs were in her eyes so she grabbed her hair at the scalp and "snip"! She looks retarded. Or just darn silly. Can't wait to see what they say at school.

Carson is on a tear. He is into EVERYTHING. Backtalking. Poor boy will have a permanent scar on his tounge if he doesn't stop sticking it out--soap burns, ya know. And he has been spending alot of time in the corner for saying "Then I don't love you", sometimes I say "Good to know" when he says it--sometimes I make him stand in the corner. Sometimes I ignore him--my therapist would cringe if she saw that. I should be consistent. HA. I am...I am consistently inconsistent.

Calie went on a "date" last night...a triple date. A girls mom took them to cracker barrel and dropped them off--they met 3 boys there. The boys paid for their meals. Calie said her "date" barely spoke he is so shy. I think she is not attracted to him--but he is to her! haha PS: Moonpie is unaware...he would FREAK OUT!

Caden...10 months tomorrow. He is so funny. He loves his pootie (pacifier). If I have a bottle in my hand and he is in his bed standing...he will plop down on his butt and throw himself down on his tummy, roll over and wait for me to hand it to him. He gets so excited when I open the dishwasher--he can crawl at warp speed to get there before I shut the door--I have to sneak to load and unload it now.

Moonpie brought me and Calie tulips the other day--for n o reason. And he brought Claudia a snow globe with the Disney Princess in it. Carson got a car. hmmmm...wonder what that was about? He also took me to Target to buy a bra that fits me--but there were no bras there in my size--I tried on about 7 bras. I think I am a 36D...but some were too small--some were too big--none were *just right*. I HATE HATE trying on bras. But he HATES HATES seeing me (not that he sees me often) in my old nursing bras. He also bought me 7 new shirts and a blazer. He picked them ALL out. I just tried everything on (yuck). He said it was his tiny version of a "what not to wear" episode. Now he gets to throw 8 items in my closet away. joy.

Claudia went to the dentist last week. Needs about $500 worth of dental work done. It's all my fault. My depression made brushing their teeth about #943 on my priority list--oh, wait, I didn't HAVE a priority list then. I shiver to see what Carson needs done to his teeth (his appointment is next on March 9th). eeeekkkk.

We only owe $600 on Calies ortho stuff--gonna pay that bill off on Thursday. That will save us $120 per month--about what our house payment is going up per month (due to taxes and escrow)! yippee. not.

My sister bought me some scrapbooking stuff. If you only knew how many pictures 4 kids has created. I dread trying to sort them out into some sort of "sort" thing. Sorta. hee hee

A few weeks ago I saw my favorite "loon/druggie" on local TV. He was backlit. And was going by an "alias"...but I recognized his voice. He has had a relapse. I wanted to call him up--meet him and hug the life outta him. I miss him. I should have him over to the house. Feed him and snuggle on the couch and watch the "LoGo" channel! Moonpie/homophobia King would FREAK OUT there too.

I think I forgot to tell you that Josh and Tara (my bro and sis in law) are expecting a BOY--wait, I think I already told you...sorry.

Well, I am putting off writing down all my receipts into the checkbook--then going on line and consolidating the freaking thing. It HAS to be done before Moonpie comes home or I will be grounded. I am soooo bad about holding out on my receipts--it will look like we have $$ in the checkbook--then I (or he goes on line and sees what I've done) and shit hits the fan--blows in my face and then I smell like shit for about a week. So...I better go do it and hope we aren't overdrawn...omg. Pray for me. No. REALLY. Pray.

DO Feed The Animal...

You know, sometimes I feel like a monkey or a jackass even, at the zoo. Here I am in my little cage. You are watching me. Waiting to see if I will eat a bug or throw crap at you... Ooo Ooo Ahhh Ahhh. I am semi housebroken. And I like for the visitors to visit. I do. You wave at me and I'll wave at you. But if you want me to do tricks. Really stupid tricks...You have to give me something people.

Like most bloggers I crave attention. I want you to give me a comment people! I see you--sneaking over here. Would it kill you to give me a crumb? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

Monkey wants a banana please. I'll give you one back too--ok?

OK, This Will Be Soooo Quick...

It is 12:45PM and I am still in my PJ's, the house is a WRECK and I'm hosting a birthday party tomorrow...Carson is in his underwear and Moonpie comes home today around 3PM. EEEKKKK.

Caden was diagnosed on Valentines Day with ear infections in both ears (AGAIN). This is the fourth round of this since Nov 15th. Ugh.



Carson and Moonpie went to Dallas Wednesday, spent the night. They had a BLAST. Went to a few hunting/fishing/camping stores and basically *looked* at everything. When you are 4 looking at stuffed beavers, bears, deer, otters, coyotes and watching live bass fish swim in a tank and pretend riding around in new ($$$)boats is FUN.



Calie...hmmmm. Same ole same ole. 15. Hermit-like. Subway obsessed.



Claudia. My sweet girl. She is America's Next Top Model--check out her pose/makeup and hair! She did it all herself!



Almost 2 weeks ago I got a form letter from our insurance company. Seems they are discontinuing to cover Effexor XR. *With* insurance it costs me about $35.00 per month. Not bad. Without coverage it will be something like $135.00 Needless to say... I was/am anxious. My doctor (remember Mr Personality {not really}?) didn't prescribe it to me--a real HEAD doctor did while I was in the Shrink Hotel (Looney Bin) but then my doc continued my prescription based on how well I do (most times) on it. So I freeaked thinking that my doc will not have a CLUE about putting me on something else... Then I find out that Effexor doesn't HAVE a sub. It is in a "class" by itself. Greeeeeeeeat. So, I went to my docs and had them write a 3 month RX...I'm gonna see if I can get a 90 day supply--that way I will have 3 months to find a new drug. wean off my Effexor--ramp up on the new stuff. OR plenty of time for me and my doctor (who is a big pussycat--he couldn't scare a flea) to fight the insurance company. I mean, you would think they would rather pay for my meds over paying for another in-patient stay. What do you think? $100.00 per month or $15,000 for 5 days? Or longer. hmmmm. They really don't want to fuck with a crazy chick. I *was* suicidal--homicidal could be next (I'm kidding in case you don't get my sense of humor)!!

My new dog "Halo" (who was an angel in December at 7 weeks) is contemplating a name change to "Pitchfork" or "Forked tongue" or "Lucifer"...He has chewed up about 10 pacifiers (or "pooties", as they are called by ME). He gets so happy sometimes that he weee-weees on you (Or my sister. Or the new friend I had over here a few days ago). He is quickly turning into a shithead. But he is SO darn CUTE.




Josh and Tara (my bro and his new wife who is pregnate) are expecting a BOY in July. I am so thrilled. Gotta go through my baby boy clothes now!!

My sister FINALLY updated her blog. After I threatened to bring Carson over for a few days if she didn't do it. See the address below. OH, and if you have a quick connections, go see: www.hurricanehead.blogspot.com There is some funny crap over there (not really crap--stuff). I saw about 30 seconds of video--took me 3.2 days to download (slight exaggeration) but it was so funny.

Gotta go. Things to do. Later gators

PS: Therapy appointment yesterday. Another verification that I am screwed up and that it may be too late to reprogram my brain--or maybe it is just too much work--If I got paid for trying to be sane I would already be rich--it is HARD work. And I am lazy.

The Fantabulous Four...

Carson will be 4 on Saturday. FOUR. Seems like last week he was 18 months old. Now he is almost four. A few weeks ago he started drawing his version of people! You know. They are big, round. No true "head". Just totally potato shaped. With long, string like arms and legs, no feet, no fingers. They just flow off the page. Huge eyes. And a straight across mouth. just "_________" like that! Some have scibbles of hair across the top. If you have hair. Some are bald. But ALL of them have smaller circles where their belly buttons would (should?) be. And then a scribble inside the smaller circle. I thought it WAS the belly button. But it seems we all have babies in our tummies. Daddy does. Claudia does. Everyone does.

He has been quite sweet lately, too. I have been proposed to daily. But I have to wait til he is "beg an srong" like Daddy is. But if we have a fight I am threatened with "ten I'm not gunna marrrry yew!" I tell him I'll be OK. I already have a husband right now. He doesn't care.

Sneaky. Oh, so sneaky. I just asked him what he was doing (can't see or hear him). The "nuttin'" always gives 'em away, doesn't it!? He was spraying Febreeze onto the cereal box. His reason? 'cause he wants cereal! geez.

He goes to the dentist Thursday. I'm making Moonpie take him. I will break out into a sweat and hives if I take him (plus I have a therapist appointment). Not because *I* am afraid of dentist--but because I KNOW he willl Frrrreeeeaaaakkkkk. He is so liable to bite someone. Or something. Moonpie has tons of patience for this sort of thing (mainly because there will be witnesses). He will be able to reason with him. I refuse to "reason". It just prolongs the tantrum, in my opinion. When someone needs a splinter removed with aid of a needle or they need to take medicine that taste like bubble gum flavored rat poison or even if they need drops inserted into their eyes--Moonpie has to do it. I want to hold them down and GET IT OVER WITH! He wants to take a 45 minute break and talk to them about how the medicine will help them feel better. The splinter will fester and get infected and they may need to see the DOCTOR for a (gasp!) shot. Or he will hem and haw about the drops and that it won't take but a second (plus 45 minutes) and then it will be allll over. Just the other day I was deeep cleaning my bedroom--took the mattress and box contraptions off (we used to call those boxed springs--but there are no springs in mine?)...and vacuumed under my massive king sized ship...um bed. And the I used furniture polish. Oh how it gleemed! Then as I was making the bed I heard "sssss". Claudia was trying to spray the polish. About then she did--into her face! I asked if she sprayed it in her eyes. She did. The can says flush with water immediately. I call to Moonpie. We go into the bathroom and she starts to freak out when she hears that we will have to pour water in her eyes. I swear...he started to reason with her. I said "Come ON! It says immediately--not after you explain it to a 5 year old!" Luckily he saw my reason (for once). You would have thought we were pouring finger nail polish remover into her eyes. But in 4-5 minute it was OVER. and she was fine. Bet she never sprays something in her eyes again.

OK, back to Carson. He is finally jealous of Caden. He tells me to "put him down". "There is only room for one boy in your lap--ME!" I've seen him push him down. Drag him by his legs down the hall (to get him away from a toy). Caden thinks he is the silliest thing around. Brotherly love. My first tiny boyfriend is getting big. Pre-school in July. A small bike with training wheels on Saturday. I hear him telling Caden now, in the kids room: "Babies can't play with that. Give it to me!"

He will be "beg an srong" soon. And I will be his Mama. Always.

One Of Those Taggy Things...Tag You're IT!

My pal "E" tagged me ( www.myfuckingeye.com/ ). I've never done this so... be ye gentle and kind:

FOUR THINGS...

Four jobs I've had

1. Rented cars to drug dealers and other local scum for Hertz.
2. Data Entry for an importer of fake trees/flowers (think silk arrangements and ficus trees).
3. Front desk...the chick who takes your money, makes your appointments, listens to your life story...At an eye doctors (5 docs) office.
4. Stay At Home Slave, umm....Mom.

Four movies I can watch over and over

1. The Color Purple
2. Urban Cowboy
3. The Wizard of Oz
4. Toy Story

Four places I've lived

1. East Texas
2. Texarkanna (4 months)
3. Colorado Springs, Co. (5 weeks)
4. East Texas--in the "woods" in BFE...In da cunttree.

Four TV shows I love

1. Trauma Life in the ER
2. All the "C.S.I." shows
3. The Barkers (on MTV--but the season *just* ended...can't believe they named that kid ALABAMA)!
4. American Idol (but only the sucky singer ones)

Four places I've vacationed

1. Galveston, Texas
2. Houston, Texas
3. San Antonio, Texas
4. White Sands, New Mexico (ummm I was 14)

Four of my favorite foods

1. Double Stuffed Oreos and milk
2. Cheese enchiladas
3. Fried rice
4. Fresh, Hot pretzels...

Four sites I visit daily...(I don't visit ANYTHING daily...but my favs?)

1. www.dooce.com
2. www.myfuckingeye.com
3. just press "next" at the top of my blog and see what pops up
4. http://scoutmom.blogspot.com/ (this is my sister--who hasn't blogged since october--and I am SO disappointed and she will be getting a tounge lashing)

Four places I'd rather be right now

1. asleep
2. drunk in a club--dancing my ass off.
3. in an indoor heated pool ALONE--floating on my back, arms stretched out...
4. at Barnes and Nobles--w a HUGE gift card.

Four bloggers I am tagging...

If you read this--consider yourself tagged...and leave a comment darn it! So I can go visit YOUR site! I promise to comment at your place... I promise.