Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A Trip And A Stumble Down Memory Lane...

Remember my divorce a few months back? Ahhh, yes. A lovely time in my life. Well, it also was the "day I lost insurance"...

Some of you know, because you KNOW me. Some of you know because you read between the crooked-as-hell lines. And some of you don't know: that I am Bipolar. BOO! Scare ya? Anyways. I'm on several medications that keep me from killing myself and sometimes from killing others (sometimes). One of those medications cost $347 per month with no insurance. Yeah. That's just one of them. I can't financially afford to be sane. I keep waiting for the check to come down from B. Obama. I mean, I am the poor... but alas, my mailbox only contains bills.

So, yesterday I went and visited my old crazy friends down at the local NUT HUT (where I spent some quality time back in 2005). I had to apply for ASSistance from the good ole government. Boy, was I proud. I get a lump in my throat the size of Texas just thinking about it. It took me 2 hours to fill out paperwork, sign my 9th kid away and convince them I was not in danger of going manic OR the moment.

I got a 30 minute lecture on how important it would be to go to ALL my appointments. Take ALL my meds. Be able to pass a RANDOM drug test at any moment. I had to swear I wasn't wanted by the law. That I was really a "good" girl. I was so ashamed. I have gone to ALL my psychiatrist appointments in the past. I am not the most compliant on my meds--but that is usually because I can't afford them. I haven't ingested any illegal drugs since a few vicodin in 2005. And I have NEVER been arrested. Geez. I felt like a skid row Bitch. I am a good girl, I'm just crazy. But in a GOOD way. hee hee.

While sitting in the waiting room I met a young lady (I say young only because she was younger than me--or maybe she wasn't, I dunno) who was looking for a new doctor. Hers had choked to death on a piece of meat at a Pharmaceutical Convention. Is that not both the saddest and freaky thing you ever heard?? I mean, I'm sure there was SOMEONE who knew the Heimlich Maneuver...surely? I just can't stop thinking about this one... wow. Surely there were DOCTORS there?? Someone trained in CPR? Anybody? Whew. Wow. Can't seem to let this one go.

Anywhoo. I am now on the government dole. Today I get to go back to the NUT HUT and see my doctor. Listen to him grip about the fact that I haven't had my blood work done. Which is funny considering I don't like to get it done because of needles. Yet I used to donate plasma twice a week and the needle for that is the size of a McDonalds straw. But I got PAID for that, people!! Too bad you can't be on "crazy" meds and donate plasma. That was $200 per month to lay there and read a book.

So, sitting down at "the Center" was like walking back into time. People were behind the glass for their safety. People were screaming because they were only 45 minutes late--"Whaddya mean I canna see ma ducker?!!" People were hiding in the waiting room behind cell phones, magazines and their cabbage patch dolls. It was good ole fun.

If anyone gets their check from the President Elect...let me know, I need it.


Anonymous said...

347 bucks a month??

Geeezus! I'd do the same thing you did girl...

Anonymous said...

Walk proud. There's no reason someone WITH the money should have to pay that much to feel better.

xoxo - vic