Saturday, August 23, 2008

Can You Wear Red Satin To An Episcopal Church?...

I have to go to church tomorrow. Ok, I should have said "I have to go to a church OTHER than MINE on Sunday".

I work for a private school. It is faith based and is run by a Board from the Episcopal Church here in town. I am excited about learning about religion and differences they have to mine. I'm a Baptist. Now, before you condemn me to hell for drinking, cussing and dancing--you should know that in East Texas ALL Baptists are hypocrites. We cuss and dance at the local pub--while drinking. But on Sunday we pray hard too. You've seen Footloose, right? Dancing is ok. Jesus turned water into WINE. Probably because they didn't have filtering devices for crummy water, but still. He didn't turn it into apple juice. As for cussing, well, there is PROFANITY and there is slang. I only sling slang.

Today we had a meeting with a few members of the Board. And with the Bishop Warden. Is that like a jailer for all the Bishop's who misbehave? I'm not sure either. But he was nice. Anyway, tomorrow is a Blessing Of The Staff. I told my girls (aides) that they could come get blessed...or get a curse put on them, take your pick. We are STRONGLY (read TOLD) asked to attend church there. I'm going and taking my boyfriend. Hopefully he can help me make heads or tails out of it all. I understand there is alot of standing, sitting, and kneeling. And alot of "Christ be with you." and "Also with you"s. I can handle all that.

But, what to wear? I mean, I'm going to be standing in front of the church (along with all my co-workers) in front of the entire congregation. Getting blessed. Introduced. I wanna make a good impression. So, I bought a red, shiny satin-like shirt to wear. With a black skirt. But, is satin appropriate?

This reminds me of when my oldest was reading "Black Beauty" books. She was a horse crazed child. Most girls are at some point in time. Especially here in Redneckville. She was reading a story where the horse was named was Satin. But, she refused to pronounce it that way (she was maybe 10). She pronounced it "Satan". No matter how many times I corrected her..she wanted that horse to be named to be Satan.

Ok, that's it, I'm wearing the shirt. With my pretty new matching panties and bra... Slick at told me that guys dig matching panties and bras.

So, will I appear in satin? Or appear Satan-like?

PS: Mandy refused to eat grapes or crackers. But she flew onto my head and it took an act of congress (by MYSELF) to get her out of my hair. That was 5 scary ass minutes, let me tell you...


Shonda Little said...

I think red is fine. But, I'm kind of a sinner.

Fat Controller said...

Hi. Just dropped by from Trixies blog. This reminded me of what our old pastor used to say:

"It's better to sit in a bar thinking of church than to sit in church thinking of a bar"