I Love Me Some August 2008...

THIS is gonna be a great month. How do I know? Well, for starters, today is the first. The first is a Friday. It is payday. My check had more $$ on it than I had anticipated. And I received 11 hours of OVERTIME pay (that I didn't actually WORK)...gonna consider it a bonus and a brain fart on the book-keepers part. Hee hee.

I also paid my water bill. Yay...we get to bathe for at least one more month!! AND I bought food--good food and by "good food" I mean it isn't cereal or beans. I also was able to purchase one more month worth of sanity. But, that was after I kissed 14 old men and fondled one man going through a mid life crisis. I would like to thank Wyeth for making it (im)possible for the insane to afford the meds so that they are able to live til August 2008. You all suck donkey balls. One without that nice Effexor XR coating.

Later this lovely month, *I* have a birthday. Not just ANY ole birthday, either. It's a doozie. The BIG four-OH. Oh yeah, baby! I will be officially ancient. And I can't WAIT. I'm gonna have a party. You can come. It's BYOB, bring your own boyfriend, cause mines taken! I feel like, that when a woman reaches forty, in this day and age... she is entitled to be a large bitch. That doesn't necessarily mean that she is MEAN. Just IN CHARGE. And she doesn't have to apologize for it. She can smiiiile and enjoy her bitchiness. Bask in the glow of it, even. A woman in her forties is also entitled to grab Life by the ears, lean in close to it's face, start on the chin and sl-ow-ly lick Mr. Life from chin to forehead. She could literally eat Life UP. And go back for a second helping without her husband or significant other reminding her of the gluttony she is partaking. And I think a woman in her forties should get a discount at Victoria's Secret. The standard 10% wouldn't be enough either...Because some serious cash could be dropped on a whole new pantie wardrobe. The last thing the 40 year old women of today should be doing is letting the term "GRANNY PANTIES" live for one more generation.

This month I also get the best present ever. My divorce will be final. SOON. Like...before my birthday, soon. I am not so much celebrating the end of the marriage, because really, I hold no ill will in my heart towards that "dude" I was married to for 19 years. I will be celebrating the beginning of a life, in which *I* will be important, wanted, needed, loved and cherished. And the best part of that is that I KNOW I will be important, wanted, needed, loved and cherished. I am still getting used to being at the top of someones list. It's surreal. I hope I never get used to it. It's like a new present every day, finding out that he still LOVES *me*!!

So, see. August 2008 is packed with chocolate cake, dipped in almond bark and sprinkled with rainbow colored jimmies. And I'm having me a HUGE slice of it!! Want some? Bring some milk.