Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Is It OK To Invite Your Ex To The "DIVORCE" Party?...

I received some extremely exciting news today. August 26th is "Court Day". That's the day that a Judge says "Yep, you retards are divorced!"

The EX has been telling me for weeks now that "you don't have to go to the hearing, ya know. You don't have to show up..." Yeah, right, buddy. Number one...a gut feeling tells me that if I *don't* show up that the sky will split open and piss all over my life. Number two...What if the Judge says "this document is a piece of dog crap. Where's the Respondant? What?! She's not here? Then let her suffer with what these papers show!~"? Number three...I want to joyfully skip outta the courthouse...stand on the steps a la ROCKY freaking Balboa, with my hand held high. Take *that* mutha sucka!! hee hee

So, next Tuesday I will git my arse to court like a good lil Texan girl. I will swear before God and lazy Judge Dunn (he's best know in these here parts as the Judge to have if you are in no HURRY to get divorced--cause he's a lazy dude) that I's don't wanna be Martie Moore No More.

The only thing that could have made this BETTER than bread with Country Crock slathered all over it was if it had been scheduled for Friday August 29th. That, dear friends, is the day that I turn 40. Can you imagine a better birthday present!? I can't. I really can't. Except for a certain someone to...well, never mind that. All in good time.

So, I'm planning to have a big ole bash on Friday. To celebrate my d-i-v-o-r-c-e. And my birthday. Think it'll be OK to invite the EX? He will probably feel like celebrating too. I'm a crazy ass bitch that I am sure he's glad to be rid of. Feeling's mutual, Big Red Dog! I'm planning on a little ole get together at my trailer park home (I dont really live in a park, tho). Plenty of hot sauce, bean dip and queso (Velveeta and Rotel). Better bring your own booze. I'm not planning on sharing mine!! I plan on having the CD player going... Loud N Proud. Maybe I'll invite the Peeping Tom...? Maybe not.

I thought about having kids come too--but I plan on getting shitfaced. Not something the kiddies should be around. I tend to break out and start pole dancing after I get smashed. So, I gotta find a safe haven for my kids, since I have them EVERY weekend. Yes, EVERY weekend.

Maybe I'll have the EX keep them then. After all, I'm watching them for *him* tonight so he could go on a date--I picked them up at 5:30PM and he "needs" then to spend the night...either that's one loooooong date--or he's going to Vegas to get married...? Anyway, more power to him, no, REALLY, more *power* to him.

So, next week should be GRAND. I can't freaking wait!! Woooohoooo!

Wonder how long I'll be single? Anyone wanna guess? I think (no, I know. I looked it up already) you have to wait 30 days in Texas before you can marry again. At least. So. Hmmmm. We will see, won't we?


Shonda Little said...

You'll celebrate your divorce the same day I celebrate my birthday. I'll chill the beers.

Anonymous said...

I'll be there 4sho! I even have abutton for you to wear! It says "I'd rather be 40 than pregnate!"

Sam said...

MoMo - this is just the greatest news! Happy Happy Birthday to you, girl!