Dinosaur Valley...

Tomorrow I will be going with Mr X to Dinosaur Valley in Texas. South of the Metroplex.

I was told to take good walking shoes and my swim suit. OMG. And my camera. OM DOUBLE G!!

There might be pics of me in my swimsuit. Might not. But the WILL be pics of fake dinosaurs. And kids splashing in the pools. Pools made out of dinosaurs footprints. Should be an experience I wont forget, plus I'm spending the night at his parents house. Hmmmmm....

Have a great LABOR day--hope none of you are laboring....

XOXO,

Martie

Happy Belated Birthday To Vicki...

Let me tell you about Vicki. I met her on an iVillage board. We were both pregnant with babies due in October 2000. There were many friends I met on there. Many. Girls who I shared with, and they shared with me. I have never felt closer to a bunch of people I've never met. My ex was convinced that they all were old fat men who either wanted to cut the baby out of my tummy OR find out where I lived so they could sodomize me.

Vicki--who I fondly refer to as Vic. I love her. I do. She has the same sick sense of humor that I have. She has a husband who she loves--but also wants to throttle. 2 adorable sons (Arranged marriage??). She works full time and doesn't get paid what she's worth. She takes care of her home, her kids, her pets and her husband (maybe not in that order, but maybe).

Vic and I share birthdays. And I was a Birthday Hog this year. I fondled my birthday. Licked it. Moonwalked with it. Grabbed it's crotch, even. And then today, I remembered, (no, Vic reminded me) it was HER birthday too.

So, Vic, tonight I am drinking a cold one for you! Bottle raised, eye twinkling. Here's to YOU. Not to YOU and him, Or YOU and them. But to YOU!! You are awesome. I love you, my sister/friend. I pray for you every night. I do. You 'da man! or 'da WOman!!

I hope your year ROCKS!!! That you can remain strong and true. That you are able to put yourself first every now and then!! You deserve it! I wanna be like you when I grow up (which will be never....hee hee).

I love you, girl. Thank you for making me feel special--and liked. You will never know how happy every letter you ever sent me made me feel. I am indebted to you...

Happy BELATED Birthday Vic!! many hugs and kisses (no tongue please)!!!

What's That On Your Finger...?

Yep. Yep. Yep. My party was fun. We laughed our a$$es off. Drank. Ate. Laughed some more. Drank some more. Told funny stories. Watched the Rice football game (yeah, but it was fun). My all time favorite people were here!!

Then, suddenly, everyone was gone. Just me and Mr X. So very near midnight--we went for a stroll. No moon, a few stars. Just me and my heart walking hand in hand. A short walk. But nice.

On the way back in the house, he stops me on the steps.

"Wait. Sit here for a minute."

I sit on the top step. He kneels before me a few steps down. He takes my hands in his. Says very sweet words. Before I know it, a ring is on my finger. He tells me that he told his kids and his parents before he came over, and that my sister knew too. I love this about him. Well, lots of things actually. But he knows how to be sweet. And still be a man (LMAO). Altho, he didn't notice I had a new rug in my living room--after he walked all over it twice. And it is a 5' X 7' rug--so it's not like it was tiny.

The next morning at 7:30AM. His oldest daughter called to see what my answer was! How 'bout that? When she heard I had said YES, she screamed all over the house... Silly girl.

My kids were excited too. I showed them my hand and Claudia said "WHAT is that on your finger? Did you marry Mr X!!? LOL Claudia is a little mad and sad that when my name changes that hers won't also. Her reasoning? *I* gave birth to her, so whatever MY name is, hers should be the same!! I explained, that altho she is VERY smart, the law doesn't see it that way.

Caden grabbed Mr X's girls) and held them tight and said "These are my sissers". Awwwwww, even Caden gets it! Carson was excited that Mr X would be his Step-Daddy and that he would have step brothers. Our kids get along GREAT.

So, now we are engaged. But, really, we were a long time ago. A few lifetimes ago. So, this doesn't feel strange, or scary, or make me anxious. It just feels right.

I promise to post something that is not romantic Monday or Tuesday. It may include dinosaurs or ADHD fits (1st day of school). It may include a story about my 17 year old--trust me, you will shake your head on this one.

PS: If today was what 40 will be like for the rest of the year--it should be the best year of my life!!

Happy Birthday John McCain, Michael Jackson and ME...

This morning I got up early. It was my first day to take the kids to school since they had been with their Dad the first 4 days. As I walked into the living room, Claudia said from her bed "Happy Birthday, Momma! Ummmm, why do you wear your panties up your crack?" Note to self: Now is the time to stop walking through the house in a Tshirt and thong.

Later Carson got up and asked me how old I was. "I'm 40 today, pumpkin." His reply? "Gosh, does that mean you were born FOURTY YEARS ago?" Ahhhh, it does indeed.

I've received numerous text wishes and a few gifts from my kids in class. I'm having a great day--and it promises to only get better. I'm on my lunch break now, baking a german chocolate cake for the party tonight. I can't stand german chocolate cake--but my mother gave me 20 cake mixes and 2 tubs of icing (all german choc icing)--along with 40 million cans of green beans, pinto beans, corn and sloppy joe mix. Thanks, Mom.

So, if you're in the neighborhood, you should stop by around 8PM or so. We will be the house that 2 cop cars are parked at--and beer cans in the yard.

And We Were Dancing In The Street...

Last night, one of the most romantic moments of my life...

I was following Mr X home from basketball. We were on a dark, deserted blacktop road. He stopped at the stop sign. I stopped behind him. He got out of his truck and walked back to my car. I rolled down my window. He opened my door, reached into my car and undid my seat belt. Held out his hand. I took it and got out of the car.

His truck door was opened, music playing. A slow song. He took me in his arms and we danced, not saying a word. When the song was over he whispered he loved me. I whispered back. He put me back in my car. Fastened my seat belt. And walked back to his truck.

As he drove away, towards home, I thought: "THIS is why I *love* this man!"

Adult Friend Finder...

Have you ever used an internet site to look for dates or mates? I met someone on a dating site (won't tell you which one...but we are a MATCH!!).

I know a friend who is even MORE computer illeteriate than *I*, and she stumbled across Adult Friend Finder--but it was under another name. Um...Cupid.com? Yeah, I think that's it. She signed up and put her picture on there. A sweet face shot. Fully clothed (I saw it, I know). And, within 2 days she had over 100 emails from tons of naked perverts. I'm talking FULL FRONTAL. I've never seen more pee-pees in my life!!

At first it was funny. She would call and say "OMG, you will not believe what I am looking at" Then she'd forward it to me and I'd peek between my fingers, hand shielding my eyes in case it went off. Some were impressive. Some were downright saaaaaaaaad. I mean, WHO told them that was a good looking pee pee? They should be shot. Or educated. I mean, I know that men have a screwed up sense of size. I KNOW! But, geeeeeezzzzz....

After the funnies weren't so funny, it just got sad. There are alot of horny people in this world. And I dont mean a few states over from you, or even a few towns over. There are HORNY people in your town. You park by them. Shop next to them. Bank with them. They lay your carpet, change your oil, fix your hair and bathe your dog. That is sad. That people are so lacking SOMEWHERE in their lives that they advertise for sex on a website like AFF. And they take off their clothes. In more ways than that, they are naked and vunerable...all for a piece of ass. Or for a feeling that they are special. They are wonderful. They matter.

Wow. I'm just amazed.

Does This Make Me Look Fat...?

Yesterday was the FINAL day for my divorce. I tried on at least 10 outfits before settling on one that made me feel strong and sexy. As I was getting ready to walk out the door CB (the ex) called me on my cell phone. "Have you left yet?" I told him I was about to head out. "I need to ask you something..." Oh god. what? "Should I wear a tie?"

I almost died laughing. I looked right at Mr X and said "CB! You're not getting married...you're getting divorced. No, you don't need to wear a tie!" After I hung up Sweets and I had a good laugh over it. On the day we are divorcing--he's calling me to ask me what he should wear to court. Bless his heart. He needs to hurry and get remarried--he may not make it if he doesn't!

Georgie Porgie, Puddin' & Pie...

Mr X has a bird named George. And although we aren't sure of George's sex, we want to introduce George to Mandy. We had the blind date all set up for last night. Sweets got here about dusk. And promptly let George out of his truck--and George flew to the highest tree in my yard--where he stayed ALL NIGHT LONG. No amount of coaxing with food, Mandy or rocks could get him down.

This morning Mr X and I went to church, after trying to get George back down...no luck. After church we found him in another tree across the highway. Stupid bird. He wanted to come to us soooo bad. You could tell. But he was both tired and scared. Birds don't like to go "down"...they like to go "up".

Mr X had to climb an oak tree. Like a monkey!! Once George could see Mr X he went to him. Got on his shoulder. But it's hard to climb DOWN a tree with a bird on your shoulder. Mr X had to take his shirt off while still in the tree and wrap George up and hand him to me so he could get down.

Now George is in his cage, which we placed right next to Mandy's. George is sleepy--probably stayed up all night keeping an eye out for owls. Mandy keeps swinging her swing and looking at him, as if to say "Look at my pretty swing you stupid boy-bird". I haven't really seen sparks fly yet--but George, who usually is VERY loud, is quiet. Maybe he's bashful and shy? George is waaaaay more colorful and prettier. He has a beautiful yellow head, orange/red breast, Green and blue wings. Looks like a rainbow bird. I'm so glad we got him back. He's not allowed out of his cage again until he gets his wings clipped. Stupid bird-boy!

Can You Wear Red Satin To An Episcopal Church?...

I have to go to church tomorrow. Ok, I should have said "I have to go to a church OTHER than MINE on Sunday".

I work for a private school. It is faith based and is run by a Board from the Episcopal Church here in town. I am excited about learning about religion and differences they have to mine. I'm a Baptist. Now, before you condemn me to hell for drinking, cussing and dancing--you should know that in East Texas ALL Baptists are hypocrites. We cuss and dance at the local pub--while drinking. But on Sunday we pray hard too. You've seen Footloose, right? Dancing is ok. Jesus turned water into WINE. Probably because they didn't have filtering devices for crummy water, but still. He didn't turn it into apple juice. As for cussing, well, there is PROFANITY and there is slang. I only sling slang.

Today we had a meeting with a few members of the Board. And with the Bishop Warden. Is that like a jailer for all the Bishop's who misbehave? I'm not sure either. But he was nice. Anyway, tomorrow is a Blessing Of The Staff. I told my girls (aides) that they could come get blessed...or get a curse put on them, take your pick. We are STRONGLY (read TOLD) asked to attend church there. I'm going and taking my boyfriend. Hopefully he can help me make heads or tails out of it all. I understand there is alot of standing, sitting, and kneeling. And alot of "Christ be with you." and "Also with you"s. I can handle all that.

But, what to wear? I mean, I'm going to be standing in front of the church (along with all my co-workers) in front of the entire congregation. Getting blessed. Introduced. I wanna make a good impression. So, I bought a red, shiny satin-like shirt to wear. With a black skirt. But, is satin appropriate?

This reminds me of when my oldest was reading "Black Beauty" books. She was a horse crazed child. Most girls are at some point in time. Especially here in Redneckville. She was reading a story where the horse was named was Satin. But, she refused to pronounce it that way (she was maybe 10). She pronounced it "Satan". No matter how many times I corrected her..she wanted that horse to be named to be Satan.

Ok, that's it, I'm wearing the shirt. With my pretty new matching panties and bra... Slick at http://slicksumbich.com/ told me that guys dig matching panties and bras.

So, will I appear in satin? Or appear Satan-like?

PS: Mandy refused to eat grapes or crackers. But she flew onto my head and it took an act of congress (by MYSELF) to get her out of my hair. That was 5 scary ass minutes, let me tell you...

Oh, Mandy. You Came And You Gave Without Taking...

Oh, my. Mr X brought me home a gift last night. I didn't even know I wanted this until he called and whispered in my ear...asking me if it was something I might be interested in. Her name is Mandy.

Her name WAS Wimpy. Yes, Wimpy. Until we tried to hand her a cracker and she took it from us...and threw it on the bottom of her cage.

Mr X has a Janday Conure (a type of parrot). His name is George Or GeorgiA--we aren't *sure* of his sex--conures don't really have it hanging out to see. Mandy is a Nanday Conure. She is 15 years old--middle age for a Nanday Conure. George is 3 or so. George can say "grace". Yeah, so Sweets says "George, say grace". And he does. Grace. Grace. Grace.

Mandy can say "Goodnight, Wimpy". And a bunch of stuff that we can't figure out. I know that Mandy is a girl--because she laid an egg once. Or so her former owner told Sweets. So Sweets is convinced that "George" (now I cant help but question George's sexual orientation as well as what sex HE/SHE is...) has a girlfriend. We already learned online that our birds DO often mate outside their breed. So, he's gonna buy a small cage tonight and bring George over to my house and put him near Mandy--see if sparks fly. Or feathers.

So romantic. haha. Hopefully Mandy and George fall in love like Sweets and I did...fast and furious. Mandy has a scary looking beak. Hope George isn't intimidated.

PS: Claudia (my 7 yr old) has wanted a bird since she could breathe. When she comes over to my house on Sunday she will be surprised and thrilled!!! I am almost as excited about *that* as I am that I have Mandy here.

Along Came A Spider...

I totally stole this video from Shonda's Blog (The Cowboy Chronicles, on my blog list).


I Fing HATE spiders... So, haha Spider!

Oh, The Shame Of It All...

I am ashamed of a few things in my life. Tho, I try not to beat myself up too much anymore. At one time I was the QUEEN of Guilt. I was guilty of being a bad Mother, Wife, Friend, Sister, Daughter... you name it, I felt bad at it. All that guilt got me locked up in the nut house. Don't contain your shame! Spread it. Let me know what you are most ashamed of. Post anonymously. I won't tell anyone.

To make you feel better, I will give you my top 5 Shame's (trust me, there is a top 100 list somewhere):

1. Taking that DVD. Without permission. And then WATCHING it. OMG.

2. Feeling happy and glad when my kids go to their Dad's for a few days.

3. For "going off my meds" and letting Mr X see what a crazy person looks like.

4. For letting Calie think I'm a rotten person--and losing her trust and closeness.

5. For dating 2 guys at once. And taking longer than necessary to break up with the one who was sooooooo wrong for me. But sooooo right at the time (hee hee).

Trust me, as a person who had issues with being a "good" person anyway...these may seem tame to you, but to me they are MAJOR. I should probably be seeing a therapist as well as a Psychiatrist. Oh well, YOU can be my therapist!!

Is It OK To Invite Your Ex To The "DIVORCE" Party?...

I received some extremely exciting news today. August 26th is "Court Day". That's the day that a Judge says "Yep, you retards are divorced!"

The EX has been telling me for weeks now that "you don't have to go to the hearing, ya know. You don't have to show up..." Yeah, right, buddy. Number one...a gut feeling tells me that if I *don't* show up that the sky will split open and piss all over my life. Number two...What if the Judge says "this document is a piece of dog crap. Where's the Respondant? What?! She's not here? Then let her suffer with what these papers show!~"? Number three...I want to joyfully skip outta the courthouse...stand on the steps a la ROCKY freaking Balboa, with my hand held high. Take *that* mutha sucka!! hee hee

So, next Tuesday I will git my arse to court like a good lil Texan girl. I will swear before God and lazy Judge Dunn (he's best know in these here parts as the Judge to have if you are in no HURRY to get divorced--cause he's a lazy dude) that I's don't wanna be Martie Moore No More.

The only thing that could have made this BETTER than bread with Country Crock slathered all over it was if it had been scheduled for Friday August 29th. That, dear friends, is the day that I turn 40. Can you imagine a better birthday present!? I can't. I really can't. Except for a certain someone to...well, never mind that. All in good time.

So, I'm planning to have a big ole bash on Friday. To celebrate my d-i-v-o-r-c-e. And my birthday. Think it'll be OK to invite the EX? He will probably feel like celebrating too. I'm a crazy ass bitch that I am sure he's glad to be rid of. Feeling's mutual, Big Red Dog! I'm planning on a little ole get together at my trailer park home (I dont really live in a park, tho). Plenty of hot sauce, bean dip and queso (Velveeta and Rotel). Better bring your own booze. I'm not planning on sharing mine!! I plan on having the CD player going... Loud N Proud. Maybe I'll invite the Peeping Tom...? Maybe not.

I thought about having kids come too--but I plan on getting shitfaced. Not something the kiddies should be around. I tend to break out and start pole dancing after I get smashed. So, I gotta find a safe haven for my kids, since I have them EVERY weekend. Yes, EVERY weekend.

Maybe I'll have the EX keep them then. After all, I'm watching them for *him* tonight so he could go on a date--I picked them up at 5:30PM and he "needs" then to spend the night...either that's one loooooong date--or he's going to Vegas to get married...? Anyway, more power to him, no, REALLY, more *power* to him.

So, next week should be GRAND. I can't freaking wait!! Woooohoooo!

Wonder how long I'll be single? Anyone wanna guess? I think (no, I know. I looked it up already) you have to wait 30 days in Texas before you can marry again. At least. So. Hmmmm. We will see, won't we?

Happy Birthday Bill...

It was brought to my attention by Shonda of "The Cowboy Chronicles" (see her on my blog list), that today was Billy Boys birthday.

When he was President I wasn't too political, still ain't (ya like that don't ya? AIN'T?). But I do remember those times well. I remember the jokes ole Bill had to endure...hee hee

I just hope that Bill is celebrating with a cigar and a good blow job. Wish I was...

Our House, In The Middle Of Our Street...

I told you that Mr X is building a house, right? He started it awhile ago, as a project to just build and then turn around and sell. At the time it *was* his full time job. But then reality set in and he had to get a "real job". So then the house turned into a hobby--or project of sorts. Then... he met me.

He claims (and I'm not saying hes lying...but I find it hard to believe) that *I* made him feel like finishing it. It was originally only 3 bedrooms. Now he's framed the garage into 2 more bedrooms. So, a 5 bedroom house begs for a big family, huh? So, he decided to keep the house. It's almost all paid for. So the mortgage (plus insurance and taxes) will be under $500 per month. That's less than the rent I pay on this (oh, I hate to admit it) t-t-trailer I live in now.

I got off work tonight and went and bought marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers and headed to the house. I knew he was there working on his day off from "real work" and that he had his oldest daughter (shes 10) with him. After I helped him put up the last wall in the garage we went to his parents house and ate and had "microwave" smores (it was raining at the new house). We all sat at the kitchen table of his parents house and talked and laughed and had a good time. I can't wait to move into that house with him and his kids (part time) and my kids (part time). I can't wait until there are 9 people all sleeping under that roof.

The house is right next to the school--you can walk to it. See the football field lights from the front porch. But it's in the country. Lots of big trees in the yard. Birds chirping. Squirrels playing in the trees. Our church is about 10 minutes away. And the town is so freaking tiny that they share a school district with the NEXT teeny tiny town. Yet we are close to "Town" and all the amenities we need, you know, Wal Mart, Movie Gallery, Pizza Hut and even McDonalds.

His youngest daughter (8) told her grandmother "looks like I'll have a step sister who is ALSO my friend!"... that makes me happy. I know it will be hard. And trying. But I can honestly say, that at this point in my life, along with good strong medication and alcohol induced meditation... I can do this. I *want* to do this.

Feels like I'm about to get on a ride at Six Flaggs. I'm scared. Nervous. Anxious. And I CAN NOT WAIT!!!! Woooohooooo! But I won't forget to keep my arms inside the ride at all times.

A New Director... Lights, Camera, Action!..

Today, I had to work all day. But it was a continuing education seminar--so, although I didn't "work", I did sit with co-workers, talk shop and learn new things.

Our school is about to undergo many changes. Our current "Head of School" is leaving. So, we need a new Director. We need CPR performed on the monster I like to call "curriculum".

The chick who was in charge of teaching us today was major cool. She has alot of experience in running schools, managing schools and validating schools. And has a theological background too. She had so many good ideas and input for our school--and taught in a fun way. So, imagine my surprise and joy to find that she is in consideration for the new Director position! After the seminar/workshop was over she went with all the teachers and aides to their classrooms to look at their rooms and give ideas and constructive criticisms for each classroom. I was excited to show mine off.

I have already started getting our room ready. I will have 3 aides next year. Two of my aides will be with me on alternate days in the mornings and the other will be with me every afternoon. One had never been in the room before,it was exciting showing it off. Our room got good marks and the only changes we may make were "If you want to, you might try..." ideas from Ms. Genius-hope-she's-my-new-boss.

I haven't been this excited about work since I was asked to take over a crumbling department (and we kicked A$$). I'm excited about my room, my aides and my new (and old) kids!

Now, if only I could find a job I like AND get paid enough to cover my bills...then I'd have it made!!

Ok, Here's One That Begs You To Tell Me They Are Cute...

When I downloaded the 120 pictures from my camera, I came across this one. Taken Mother's Day Weekend of me and my brood. I actually even had Calie with me then!! The picture isn't the best. Mainly because Claudia is always PMSing...and she is only 7, so, she was in a bad mood. Carson isn't looking--he was having major ADHD issues. And, I may be smiling--but it's faked!

But here we are. Normal dysfunctional family.

Here Is That Nasty Picture I Promised...

Ok, so there is no picture here anymore.

Mr X (formerly went by: "SOMETHING ELSE") has decided that it isn't in his best interest to be affiliated with my blog--on account that I'm blogging about real life and that includes drinking, cursing and ocassionally...sex. Something he does NOTHING of... no sex. no drinking. no cursing. Promise. No really...

I Like My Love Spread On THICK...

So. I thought I'd do a little speading myself. I have a couple new links that I just added to my blog list. Don't let the names scare you off. These are the sort of people I would love to hang out with--and did once, back when I was on that mental ward at the "nut hut". Alas, now I only hang out with sane humans who try to bend and mold me into a sane human as well--but I'm not having it, peoples!~ I will continue the good fight.

I am home today from work, feeling ill. Got me a tummy virus. Or, rather it started in the tummy...worked its way downward, effen ya know what I mean. So, I'm laying in bed. Loopy from Gatorade and PhenAgrin ;) Reading my new bestest friends, who don't even know it yet.

Comments are like cookies. Too many make ya fat(headed). None leaves you feeling deprived. Choco chip is my favvvve!

I Am A Winner!!!....

Our weekend was a success! I've never had so much fun!! We both won more than we took. me at the slots and Mr X at the black jack tables It was alot of fun to hand him his room key. And tell him...well, never mind what I told him.

I think He got as big as a kick as I did. We had good fun and good food. We had a blast. I have pictures. Look for them soon....oh don't worry they are G rated.

Good times were had by all...

I do loooove this man...