The Warranty Has Expired...

It is so official. I am falling apart. I went to physical therapy yesterday to be assessed. Kevin(*),my physical therapist, said he is *sure* it isn't my hip--that it is my BACK. A disk. Bulging. My lower back has been hurting. But not all the time. Off and on. But I always thought "Oh, I must have over done it. Bending over too much to pick up 1,000 toys. Putting clothes away. Lifting 20 and 30-something pound kids. Making beds, emptying and loading the dishwasher." You know, regular ole everyday stuff. Kevin said that the disk is bulging really bad when I feel the pain in my hip/leg--that it is "transferred pain". So he told me to be diligent about proper posture. Use Aleve. And gave me an exercise he wanted me to do 10 of, ever hour(!). I did it about 4 times and the pain in my hip WENT AWAY!!!! But the pain in my lower back is some of the worst pain I have ever experienced (not counting the 2 ovarian cysts that ruptured, labor 4 times before the epidural kicked in and mastitis in my right boobage). I am in pain that 2 Darvocet or 2 Vicodin can't even tickle, much less touch. Trust me, I tried them both yesterday. I do believe that I am what old people call "down in my back".

And the dreaded, middle age metabolism is here. Yesterday I ate 1/2 a piece of Whole Grain toast (no butter/jelly or peanut butter), LOTS of water, and a small handful of Teddy Grahams--nothing else, and lost NOTHING. Actually, I weighed 149.0 yesterday AM. This Am I weighed 149.2--What!? I can't even starve properly. Maybe I should get braces. That has worked for "E". I bet she is looking "smoking" too. I, on the other hand look fat and frozen.

To top it all off--it is 39 degrees this morning. I live in TEXAS people. Not North Texas. A part of Texas that sees snow about once every 5 years. A part of Texas that is so hot and humid in Summer that your eyelids sweat. You will discover sweat gland that you never even knew existed on the human form. So, 39 degrees is freaking COLD.

In summary, I am old, fat and cold. And I smell poop (no, not ME. I still have control of my bladder and bowels...tho, I am sure that will be the next thing to go--after the removal of half of my 'gina due to "C"--I go see *that* doctor Friday). sigh.

*--"Kevin" may or may not be his real name. I may have made it up--and I may have been in too much pain to think of an alias for him.