Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Schedule Smedual...

I thought that when school started and it would be just me and the boys at home that I would be able to keep to a schedule. I even have one written out and posted in the kitchen a la "The Nanny" style. And when I am home, without MP, who runis even my best laid plans, it works! But chaos has ruled supreme since school started. Orthodontisit appointments. Well check ups (Caden has one today). Kidney stone attacks. Unscheduled days off from work (MP's). It's ruining my schedule! I keep thinking--when things settle down it will be better... who the hell do I think I am kidding? settle!? Wouldn't that mean that chaos would finally be contained? There IS no container big enough to contain this chaos. And when I am able to hear myself think (at 2AM) I realize...that even tho I bitch about the chaos, I love it.

My kids are hilarious. Mostly healthy (minus one bad ass kidney stone that is being evicted tomorrow). Beautiful. Really. They are gorgeous. You should see them. And I fully realize how blessed I am. Schedule or no schedule. Chaos or not. Shit smeared all over the toliet (at least he's pooping IN the toliet now). crayon on the wall (it could be shit you know). Spit up on my shirt (could be shit). I am blessed. And my wish is that all those that want shit up to their eyeballs like I have--get their wish. *I* wish that they get their wish.

I'll keep the schedule on the wall. I'll try to adhere to it on "good" days. And on bad days I'll just let the shit fall where it may. And buy another gallon of bleach.

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